I got to be honest. There are so many things I can’t say right now, so many feelings I can’t fully describe, and so many situations and people who I can’t expose. Even more, so many reasons why I find it absolutely. useless. to write.
But at the chance that there is someone – anyone – who is out there struggling like me to find God amidst the storm they are in, I will sit down and write. It aint gon’ be fancy, and I have little to no intention of editing this to death, I just want to share a straightforward story about how the Lord showed up in the nick of time… and made my jaw drop.
It was a couple of days before my 30 days was up and around the same time the panic started setting in, as I wondered whether God would show up or not and move mountains in my life? I was reading in the book of Luke about a man named Zechariah, who had an angel of the Lord came to him.
The angel began by encouraging Zechariah by saying,“Don’t be afraid, the Lord has heard your prayer…”
The angel then continued by outlining (if you ask me, a mind-boggling amount) of things that the Lord promised He would do in Zechariah’s life:
– that despite their old age that his wife would become pregnant with a son.
– that his name would be John and he would bring great joy and gladness
– that John could never touch alcohol
– that God would use John in amazing ways (which he went on to describe in detail) and that he would possess the same spirit and power of Elijah
-Oh, and his favorite color would be indigo (Not really, I was just making sure you were still paying attention!)
There is no denying the miracle it would be to have an angel of the Lord sent to you! To have the Lord make promises concerning your future! Imagine what fears it could calm… what questions it would answer… the hope it would give to face tomorrow!
But Zechariah’s response?
Buckle your seat belts for this one…
“How can I be sure this will happen?”
What an idiot! I nearly slammed my Bible shut at the thought!
REALLY ZECHARIAH!?!?! A FRIKKIN ANGEL comes to you! FROM GOD! Making promises! BIG PROMISES! …And you whine and question!!?!?!
What I wouldn’t do to have the same thing happen to me!!!
At the exact same time a loose sheet of paper fell from the pages of my Bible. Squinting to make out the words, I picked up the familiar list and brought it close enough so I could scan what it is that I wrote.
(Insert: Jaw droppage!)
it couldn’t be…
But THERE IT WAS!
A list… of all the things God has promised ME in the last 60 days!
A list I had started the day everything fell to pieces and when I’d sworn off all books and well-intentioned advice and DEMANDED to hear directly from Him! A list that clearly states what God said… when He said it… and the verses I found it in!
– “I will rescue you, I will fight for you. Just stay calm.”
– “Come to me, I can be trusted”
– “I know you don’t know what to do but I will give you wisdom”
– “I am good and my plan for your life is perfect”
– “Continue praying and never give up!”
And yet in my faithlessness I also respond, “But, but, but… How can I be sure this will happen?”
…How can I be sure that God will fight my battles? That He will guide my every step? How can I be sure that He is listening to my every prayer and that His plan for my life is perfect?
And just like Zechariah, I’m an idiot!
We all are sometimes…
We fail to see on a regular basis is that our God is good even when our circumstances are so very very bad. That He is a God that can be trusted even when no one else around can be. That while it’s true our lives may look like a jumbled mess, and we may not know what to do, that He will always give us the wisdom we need. Even when there is no more fight left…and no more prayers left to pray… that He will fight for us (and He will win!) so long as we never give up!
And those are promises!
So for all the idiots out there like me…
May we rest in the comfort knowing that we need not be afraid, because the Lord has heard our every prayer…
and He WILL do what HE promised!
“You are blessed because you believed that the Lord would do what He said” Luke 1:45