The woman I want to be

Confession: It’s hard for me to let my daughter play in the driveway, or allow her to let go of my hand in the grocery store without so palpably, believing something is going to go terribly wrong.

I check the locks multiple times a night, and I can’t tell you the last time I spoke a dream out loud. Not because I don’t have dreams (…at least I think I still have dreams…) but because deep down a part of me believes God might shoot them down like a spiked volleyball, the moment I find the courage to speak them into existence.

— Why? Because I am jaded. I am fearful. And I am coming out of such a difficult season that was so bad for so long, that I find myself struggling to embrace the good, without looking over my shoulder anticipating the next ruthless reality, that may sneak its way in and devour everything I have worked so hard for.

And yet recently, I have felt God lovingly inviting me to do something so ludicrous that my jaded heart can barely comprehend it….

3 words that are equally terrific as they are terrifying — “Enjoy your life

Continue reading The woman I want to be

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The (most unlikely) way you can know you are doing exactly what God wants

I always assumed the people – most obviously – following God, were the ones overflowing with compassion like Mother Teresa. Who were likely teaching a Sunday school class (or three) and could correctly recite at least ⅓ of the Bible from memory — and in the King James Version, of course.

But following God isn’t always as simple as memorizing Bible verses and letting the cute old man cut you in line at the grocery store. (It hasn’t been for me at least…)

Continue reading The (most unlikely) way you can know you are doing exactly what God wants

Our least favorite story to tell (and why it’s the most significant)

I pride myself in my resilience, my unshakeable faith and my level-headed mind.

But two years ago, I wasn’t any of those things. Two years ago, I was coming undone.

I was reminded of that time, when something popped up in my newsfeed today. A Facebook status from the past, that stopped me dead in my tracks and reminded me of my least favorite story to tell. The darkest one.

Continue reading Our least favorite story to tell (and why it’s the most significant)