On the day my baby (would have) been born

Today would’ve been the due date of my second child.

And while I could dwell on the could-have-beens or the should-have-beens, I’ve cried enough tears over that these last 9 months.

Today, on the day my baby would’ve been born, I’ve chosen instead to reflect on the promise God made me. (It’s the same promise God is making to you, no matter what dream of yours has seemingly died.)

It all started when God came to me in a dream…

Continue reading On the day my baby (would have) been born

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Miracles & Moving Boxes (God did it!!!!!)

( I CANNOT WAIT to tell you how God blew our minds this week! But first, if you haven’t had the chance to read last week’s post that’s probably a good place to start, or this might not make very much sense. Now, a little ‘story time’ if you will. Gather around, friends… God is the coolest. )

Three separate times we have tried for another baby.

And three separate times God has said, no. 

Inevitably every time I say that, someone comments, “God’s not saying, no, Krista, He’s just saying, not right now“…And inevitably, that person always seems to have a trillion beautiful babies. Go figure. And while I appreciate the kindness, I do… I gotta be honest, it reeeeeally feels like God is saying, no. (Just, no. With an exclamation mark. And a punch in the face.)

Yet each time God shuts down our attempts at having another child, He always succeeds in getting me to a place where I thank Him for not giving me what (I thought) I wanted.

For example, the first time we were trying for a baby we were living on the west coast, with no inkling of the whirlwind that was around the corner.

We’d been anxiously awaiting two red lines to display on a pregnancy test for going on 7 months at that point, when all of a sudden I felt God telling us to stop. I’m not going to lie, it was strange. Even stranger, when I mentioned it to my husband he agreed.

… Months later, God surprised us by uprooting our family (and with it, all normalcy) to move us from suburbia to New York City! I’ll never forget the day I literally got on my knees and thanked The Lord for not giving me the baby (I thought) I wanted.  — I wouldn’t have survived NYC if He had!

The second time was a couple of years later, after I’d gained my footing in NYC (and after I had stopped having panic attacks from all the masses of people and fecal matter on any given subway.)

I was certain I was ready to have another kid…

…and then two weeks later, my marriage completely fell apart.

Again, Hallelujah, and thank you, Jesus, for not giving me what I thought I wanted.

The third and last time we started trying to have another child, was this last year. I could think of no better time to have a baby, and I told God that. Our marriage had been rebuilt, another picturesque house had been bought, all the debt had been paid off, and we were YEEEEARS from moving back to NYC to start a church (or so we thought.)

But again, like clockwork, I felt God telling me it wasn’t the right time …

I remember the exact place we were driving along the highway when I told my husband that I feared that would be the case (not realizing at the time, I was already 6 weeks pregnant…With a baby we would lose just weeks later…)

 I was right, God was saying, no… (yet, again.)

But just like every time preceding it, God had a reason. And this time, it was a BIG ONE!

Continue reading Miracles & Moving Boxes (God did it!!!!!)

What would God say the morning before the $#*% hit the fan?

 

Last summer, my life was the picture of stability — we had just bought a house, and every picture frame and throw pillow was in its place. Our schedules were filled with the usual business trips and dentist appointments, and we were expecting another child.

…And then within a month, everything went from steady and stable, to a rickety, nausea-inducing carnival ride that seemed to plummet off the rails.

( The only thing leaving me more shaken than the actual turn of events, was what God had said the morning before they unfolded…)

Continue reading What would God say the morning before the $#*% hit the fan?

You’re not asking enough from God

 

30 days ago, I was on the other side of the world traveling with my family through five different countries for five weeks.

In France, we ate our body weight in meat and cheese. In Belgium, we did the same with beer and chocolate, and in England we ate the traditional Sunday roast dinner, complete with Yorkshire pudding.

But without a doubt, most enjoyable was: everywhere we went, and no matter who we were with and what we were eating, we were exchanging stories between bites, of all the amazing things we had seen God do in our lives.

There wasn’t a night we went to bed before 1 am, or where we laid our heads down to sleep without thinking to ourselves, Woah, God… you are amazing, after all the stories we heard and shared each night.

And God’s response… (well, to be honest, it surprised me)

He said, “…You haven’t seen anything yet.”

Continue reading You’re not asking enough from God