So we blew up the blogosphere this last week…
Like for real, and entirely on accident!
And as Rachel and I watched the number of daily visitors grow on our blog – doubling, tripling, and so on… and so on – I realized something new about myself…
Success isn’t my scene.
While it makes me momentarily want to dance on the table in excitement, just as quickly, it had me rocking back and forth in fetal position, scratching my eyelids, and taking an oath that I would never write again.
Throughout the week, it’s entirely possible that I made a few frantic phone calls to Rachel, where we weighed our options, and questioned whether it would be best to just shut down the blog completely (no really… we were THAT freaked out!)
And yet, interestingly enough, here I am once again.
Only took 500 gallons of chamomile tea to calm my escalating heart rate, and another trillion prayers to the Lord Almighty, but I am here!
But due to the attention we got this last week, and taking into consideration the many feathers I ruffled ( because apparently people don’t understand the disclaimer: “I know this post will offend people… and for the record I am not sorry!”) I thought it might be fitting to clarify a few things:
Yes, I am a pastor’s wife. And no, that’s not a title I can live up to! Being a ‘Pastors wife’ is in no way my identity (you won’t here me ‘name dropping’ that in posts to come…) And whether you choose to believe it or not, I am a human being just. like. you!
I am not über spiritual- In fact the Real Housewives of New Jersey and I have an ongoing date on my couch every week (and if there are wheat thins and chocolate covered acai berries involved, then all the better!) Admittedly, I curse on occasion for emphasis, and I make a MEAN margarita!
That being said, while it’s entirely your choice whether or not you hold me to the unrealistic standard of what you believe that a Pastor’s wife should be, if you choose to do so, I can say with 100% certainty that I will fail. Miserably.
And when I do, it’ll be your fault for putting me on that pedestal -not mine!
And if you don’t like that, then this blog is not for you.
I also am by no means the picture of a perfect parent. I secretly despise the playground, too often turn to the plethora of take-out menus for dinner at night, and it’s entirely possible that the first music my daughter ever heard in the womb was a Black Eyed Pea’s song, that my husband and I had methodically picked out!
And if you don’t like that, then…
well, you get where I am going with this!
I love the Lord deeply with all that I am. And whether or not a relationship with Him is what you desire, you hang with me long enough and it’s likely my faith will be contagious.
So a word of caution: If that is something you are extremely opposed to, then this blog might not be for you. (Although, I secretly hope you will stick around anyway!:)
If my grammatical errors anger you to the point where you feel the need to comment about them, then I am sorry, but it seems you have confused me with a real writer!
Simply put, I am a stay at home mom, who – what I lack in hobbies, is made up for with dishes in the sink! I struggle daily to get out of my pajamas, and am always scrambling to get my weekly blog post done in time while my two year old crawls all over my limbs, feeding me fistfuls of goldfish crackers in an attempt to get me to impersonate the cookie monster (which for the record, I have no shame in doing!)
All that to say, if you are looking for an eloquent speaker or errorless presentation, then this will never be the blog for you!
As for me, I will cling to the hope that if God can use simple farmers, despised tax collectors, and even sons of prostitutes to bring Him glory, then surely the Lord in all of His greatness, won’t even bat an eye at the mish-mash that can be my english!
And given the chance that I get a negative comment – or give or take a few HUNDRED like last week! 😉
I will not respond. Ever!
I know, I know… you are “being pressed by the Holy spirit” to tell me how wrong I am and what not, but regardless, that’s just not me. It’s not that I don’t respect your opinion, it’s that I don’t write to please you – or anyone else for that matter!
I write because God has laid it on my heart to be unapologetically honest and courageously me! To be vulnerable enough to share my weakest, and rawest thoughts so that He can meet me there and transform my heart to be more like His. NOT to merely write for His people; their praise, their public acclaim, or to address their criticism!
So if you are looking to debate with someone or are itching for a feud,
Phew! Now that we got that out of the way – and since we have weeded off all the haters by now – may those of you who are still with us, continue on this journey of true authenticity. The kind where we aren’t afraid to publicly declare that our kids are making us cray cray, that our spouse is one- dirty- q tip – left – on – the – counter away from sleeping on the fire escape (like, indefinitely!) and to address that more often then not, we struggle with feelings of being not enough; enough of a provider, enough as a spouse, enough as a parent, and at times, even enough as a CHRISTIAN! Gasp! I know, its scandalous I tell you!
Together, I hope we can learn to lean into Christ for all that we need, learning to love Him and trust Him more, so that with His strength we can embrace the (at times craaaaazy) life he has laid out for us!
We will be your guides, and although we can’t promise perfection, an agreeable nature (or in my case, savory language 100% of the time) you do have our word that we will be honest and raw to the core, in hopes that one day you too will be able to do the same!
And if THAT is what your soul has been so desperately longing for, then I am so happy to announce that this IS the blog for you! And we couldn’t be happier to have you on board!
But before I go I must publicly declare…
that I, Krista,
do solemnly swear,
to never curse a crockpot ever again! 😉
There. I said it. Now can we all just get along?