I realize that this post may offend certain people: Good people, people who I’d probably really get along with otherwise…
But for the record, I am not sorry.
Last week’s post Worthy of Rubies was me, buttoned up in my ‘Sunday’s best’ and smiling pretty. But over the last couple of days a fire has come over me and I can’t keep silent.
You see, I hate when women stand before other women and use their platform to hide behind facades of ideal marriages, perfect specimens of children and strong opinions on the likes of breastfeeding, vaccines, and church politics…
I cringe when the Kim Kardashian’s of the world pose half-naked in an attempt to prove that they’re still sexy, when any ‘real mom’ feels like anything but! When friends on Facebook post statuses like “ …Made 6 loaves of banana bread, ran 12.8 miles, fed the homeless, and saved a cat, and was still able to get home in time to make homemade apricot pork loin and apple crisp for dinner tonight,” while the rest of us are left wondering how we even made it out of our pajamas today?!?
I don’t know when being sexy and domestically superior made us more of a woman, but let me challenge you with what I believe is the #1 misconception of a godly woman…
Years ago, I took a class in bible college that still to this day gets my blood boiling. It was a class called Christian Womanhood.
Three times a week hundreds of college freshman ladies piled into the auditorium, and who if they were anything like me, anticipated by the name of the class ‘Christian Womanhood’ that we would come to understand what it truly meant to become the godly woman the Lord desires for us to be.
Most of the girls attending the class would one day go on to become pastor wives, missionaries, and christian school teachers. Women who would have the potential to impact other women, communities and the World in POWERFUL ways!
And yet, THIS is what we learned…
– How to execute a wedding. Complete with rehearsing a mock wedding in which each of my peers played a ‘part.’ I however, sat in the audience (on the groom’s side if you want to be specific) uninterested, and unapologetic …I mean, seriously?
– The importance of making dinner for our families each night, and pointed out the convenience of using a crock pot. …Yep, it happened.
– Why we must only read the King James Version of the Bible. But I have no notes on that lesson, because unashamedly, I tuned that one out!
It was also in this class that we did an in-depth study of Proverbs 31 in the Bible. Which wasn’t bad per se, but due to all of the above (and the fact that I actually paid for this nonsense of a class!) I don’t think it would surprise anyone to know that still to this day, I have a physical aversion to any of the topics covered in that class, including the beloved Proverbs 31 woman!
Interestingly enough though, my husband came to me last week and asked me to write a devotion for our church on you guessed it – Proverbs 31! And in all honesty I fought it HARD, as if to completely downplay the significance of it in the Bible.
And yet as I pored over the chapter myself, I realized something I had never seen before, something I can assure you was NEVER taught in my class all those years ago:
Who can find a capable wife?… She is energetic and STRONG… She has NO FEAR of winter… She is clothed with STRENGTH…
Proverbs 31:10, 17, 21, 25
The Proverbs 31 woman is a lot of things- domestic and lovely, successful and well-respected, But most repeated, she is STRONG! Not anything like the passive and weak woman we are so often encouraged to be! She has no fear of winter – the difficult times to come – and is most definitely not limited to planning weddings and using crock pots!
It got me thinking go the times I have had to be strong…
When 2 years into my marriage, when we should have been comparing paint swatches for the living room and eating breakfast in bed (or whatever it is that newlyweds do!) but instead we were battling it out in screaming matches and trying to decided what we would do with the house in the event of a divorce.
…When The Lord asked me to forgive my husband, and when even more clearly, I begged God kicking and screaming to let me move on, to give me permission to break ties with the man I was petrified would hurt me once again! But how the Lord never wavered.
How I was furious and shaken, but STRONG enough to choose to please the Lord above all else and embark on a journey to learn to love my husband again. And for the record, I am so incredibly glad I did!
How years later, we faced an unimaginable tragedy in our church while my husband was away at summer camp. How I wanted nothing more then for my husband to walk through the door, so I could immerse myself into the comfort of his arms, allowing myself to freely fall into a heap of tears with the one person who shared my mutual heartache. And how it never happened…
Because upon returning home, my husband made only one request: we not cry. How instead, he wanted to watch the news footage covering the accident over… and… over… and lay on floor and listen to worship music until late into the night. How he needed me there, and how more than anything he needed me to be STRONG!
How impossible it felt (how impossible it would’ve been apart from the Lord!) but how I sought hard to find my strength in Christ, relying on Him wholeheartedly for my comfort so that I could be strong for my husband, so that in return, he could be strong for so many others as their Pastor!
Oh, how my soul longed in those moments, for a woman to have opened up and spoken to me as a college freshman about THAT! To have a woman stand before me, vulnerable about her overwhelming fears and unworthiness, but of God’s immeasurable strength available to us in spite of it!
And so if I could teach a class on christian womanhood, and if all of you reading were my exceptionally lovely students, I would tell you that the most breathtaking picture of a ‘christian woman’ is not merely a sweet, modest, well-spoken, domestic goddess – but the woman whose strength and unshakeable faith lifts up all those around her despite the circumstance or ‘winter’ she has found herself in. (Prov. 31:21)
I’d tell you that no matter how beautiful of a bride you make, that one day your marriage may feel hopeless. And to remember when that day comes, it’s not a direct reflection of the INADEQUACY of you, but the potential GREATNESS of God if we allow Him to restore the broken pieces left of our hearts, and our vows.
That one day, the strong men we marry may need OUR strength to literally and physically pick them up off the floor, and that it won’t be a damn crock pot that will save the day, but the fire deep within us to FIGHT for our marriages and for our husbands to be the godly men that the Lord desires them to be!
Because the truth is, EVERYONE can let us down. But by choosing to find our strength in Christ, there is NOTHING God can’t grant us, and NOTHING He can not restore!
We need only to turn to Him, for He is the only one capable of giving life to our broken hearts and the strength we need to keep holding on.
And it would be as simple as that.
Class is dismissed.
Krista Ortiz 
AMEN Sister!! Thank you so much for this!! Loved ever bit!! and needed to hear it, great confirmation for me. Thank you and God Bless!!
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I appreciate your thoughts and insights, but I would like to be your proofreader and editor…..there are several mistakes in your post!
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dana k. Who cares???? This woman has such a deep understanding of what is important in life, that I don’t think it matters if she wasn’t that “into” using perfect English or spelling. She was obviously into sharing her wisdom & the joy she has gotten from following Jesus all her life. God bless her for caring enough to share 🙂
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REALLY? She writes about something with great feeling and depth and your response is you want to check her grammar????
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Its her story, and I am sure she does not want or need your two cents worth!!!
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Dana K., what a kind offering to be willing to share one of your gifts with someone else! While the grammar use isn’t the focus, some people like me can be very distracted by poor grammar, so I think it’s wonderful that you would be willing to dedicate your time and energy to making it easier for us to see the heart of the message! Thank you!
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People need to stop getting mad at this woman for offering up her time to improve what is obviously a great blog post. The writer of this blog is a very talented story teller and mentor who like you say may not have time to edit her posts, but this Dana is volunteering her time, so stop demonizing and support both Dana and the author!
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I guess all your crockpots are clean as a whistle
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LOL that is exactly what she was talking about..always feeling as though we have to be perfect…how ironic!! Really that is what you got from this? mistakes? but I do like the fact that you are offering her your services!
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You are brilliant! Thank you for these wise, wonderful words!
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The King James Bible, the ONLY true word of God say in
Matthew 12:34- O generation of vipers, how can ye, being evil, speak good things? for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.
Colossians 3:8- But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, FILTHY COMMUNICATION out of your mouth.
1 Corinthians 15:33- Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners.
Ephesians 4:29- Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.
I surely hope people don’t think Jesus used profanity!!!!!
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THANK YOU. My thoughts exactly. Could’ve made the point without that!
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Jason,
Do yourself a favor and do a long study on where/how we get our English translations of the bible. Better yet even a short study would help you see how off base you are on translations of the bible.
Josh
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Josh, the Alexandrian Greek came from Egypt, which is a picture of sin in the bible. This is the Greek used on the other versions. The King James Bible used the Antioch Greek, which is where the church was formed in the book of Acts. I ask 1 question, if there is 1 God, there must be 1 law.
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The controversy over her word choice reminds me of a great Tony Campolo quote: “I have three things I’d like to say today. First, while you were sleeping last night, 30,000 kids died of starvation or diseases related to malnutrition. Second, most of you don’t give a shit. What’s worse is that you’re more upset with the fact that I said ‘shit’ than the fact that 30,000 kids died last night.”
It would be a shame to miss the point of her article because you’re so eager to correct her word choice.
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DM Dunn….wow…I am a pastor’s wife and I wholeheartedly agree with what you just said. I did cringe at the word in the post, only because I wanted to repost it and I know so many people would give me a good finger wagging for posting something with a bad word…while completely missing the point of the article, which was gripping and so true. An old pastor of ours used to say, “You need to learn to eat the chicken and spit out the bones.”
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Well said D M Dunn and Jason my mom found salvation reading her NIV so the KJV is not the only version….it’s ok friend I blame your so called theology experts for brain washing your fragile mind…and Krista excellent read. Christianity needs more of your kind standing up for what really matters in this harsh world….
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Thank you jason. That was upsetting.
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Whoa!!! Amazing from the gut and heart which God looks at and all you see is spelling and “damn”. Pretty sure the disciples had some great fisherman language which would blow all of you out of the water. You sound like those religious leaders Jesus had no time for….God always looks at the heart…I love real…. I love a God who is real. This is a true woman of God who has put God and her husband before herself.
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I agree Kim, Pharisee much?
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Jason, please tell me where in the Bible is referenced that Damn is an unholy word. It being profanity is a human construct. This passage is not referring to the choice of words, but the meaning behind them. These passages are referring to those who are speaking mistruths and misleading the flock. I really don’t think God cares what words people choose to use to get their point across. He isn’t watching us with a clicker marking each time we say the word Damn. BTW.
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AMEN TO THAT!!!! I was very offended by this woman’s post.
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Keep preaching Jason your only speaking the truth.
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And to your point about the King James Bible being the “Only” true word of God. Using the logic that you are using, unless you are reading it in Greek, then you aren’t reading the “Only” Word of God. Anything in English is a translation made after the originals were written.
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You really need to do some research and learn about textual criticism. The KJV-only legalistic soap box is doing nothing to help the church. The Bible, written in Greek & Hebrew, never claims a single English translation will be the only right one. So stop making claims about the Bible that it never made about itself.
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Steve,
Jeremiah 6:16- Thus saith the LORD, Stand ye in the ways, and see, and ask for the old paths, where [is] the good way, and walk therein, and ye shall find rest for your souls. But they said, We will not walk [therein].
Jeremiah 6:19- Hear, O earth: behold, I will bring evil upon this people, [even] the fruit of their thoughts, because they have not hearkened unto my words, nor to my law, but rejected it.
I know that’s Old Testament and some people think we don’t need to live by it but Jesus said in
Matthew 4:4- But he answered and said, It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God.
I am a blood bought, born again Christian that has been washed in the blood of the LAMB.
If u believe that there is one God, one Jesus, and one Holy Ghost, and believe that God created man from the dust if the earth, that Jesus Christ, the son of God left heaven, born of a virgin, healed the sick, raised the dead, took a beating, beared the cross up Calvary, bleed n died for ur sins. The RESURRECTED the 3rd day victorious over death hell and the grave to provide salvation for you and i, then why don’t people believe that the creator of the universe can preserve his word.
There has been ppl die for the King James Bible, I haven’t heard of such concerning the other versions.
Jeff,
I’m glad ur mom got saved. We must know that there is a little truth to every lie. Think about when eve was deceived in the garden by satan. Ppl cn b saved using the other versions, there is enough Jesus in them to save you. But the doctrine is all misconstrued. Think of how many words and versus are left out of those versions. I had a guy tell me he read scripture in an ESV n compared it to the KJV. He said the KJV had more conviction. If we operate off of feelings we will b mislead. Have you been washed in the blood?
The comment of fisherman language….. Yes, the apostle Peter cursed n denied Jesus. But if u think about when he was in the garden w Jesus, he was ready to die w him. We need to see that the closer we get to Christ, the more we take on his image. The further away, the more we take on the image of the world.
If a Christian will talk like the world, walk like the world, look like the world, and act like the world, what difference is there??
2 Corinthians 6:17-
Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean [thing]; and I will receive you,
As for the curse word. If you take things out of context it becomes wrong. If a person uses “hell” as a curse word instead of a place, it is out of context. Therefore, is a cuss word. Filthy communication.
Jesus says if your luke warm he will spew you out of his mouth. Any of us. I’m not being judgmental, I promise, just trying to make a point.
Thank you for those of you that have had supportive comments.
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Just curious, Jason. If she had not used the curse word and had not made the KJV reference, what other points would you have picked apart?
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I agree 100%- this was a great article that made a few good points until I got down to the bottom and saw the profanity… a true woman of God who is proclaiming Christianity would not waste her Christian witness by using profanity, especially if she is a pastor’s wife.
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And a true Christian would not have publicly called her out on it. If you are offended, you are supposed to go to that person in private. Matthew 18:15
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yeah. this post is being passed around a lot on facebook and it sucks to see a post with a message of being strong in the Lord and not ourselves overshadowed by so much emotional anger and hostility and the usage of “damn”. it was really grieving to read. anyone can calls me a pharisee which you all will in 5 minutes but we have to hold ourselves to the truth even in our crazy emotional states. crockpots are not cursed or damned. although they are intimidating. im not living fake. Im as tranparent as I can be but even in transparency I have to remember to be an example and also when I slip and mess up and curse or use a word I wouldnt want my daughter using to apologize (to the Lord and Him alone) and reconcile with anyone I offended. I know the word isnt sending anyone to hell and God looks at the heart. And with that we can judge righteously when someone gets carnal and out of the heart the mouth speaks vulgarly. this is coming from an ex sailor who has messed up HUGE since being a born again child of God. and im only writing this hoping we’ll quit abusing the God sees the heart line ad if that is a means to do act and say whatever we want for the sake of being REAL. don’t alot of our worldly acquaintances use the same argument to do unspeakable and often times hurtful things?
a girl wantiwanting to
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Jason, I believe the word “damn” is the corrupt communication your opining on.
Mar_16:16 He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved; but he that believeth not shall be damned.
Oops Jesus said it. I believe hating a false doctrine on crock pots deserves a nice damning once in a while. The doctrine, not the person. Hmmm didn’t Jesus mention JUDGMENTALNESS.
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Jesus also fasted 40 days, are you gonna do that also… It’s so funny how people can say Jesus drank, Jesus cussed but can’t do the sacrifices that Jesus did
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Yes. This.
I’m not naturally a rebellious personality who would question all those teachings on womanhood I also experienced. But sometimes, it’s the course of life that teaches you what is right and what is superfluous.
Your post caught my attention because I’m preparing to set up a series of special times for my daughter (who will be eight next year) to spend a day with half a dozen women she looks up to, who are willing to invest in her and help me teach her what it means to be a godly woman. I went looking for some basic biblical and universal principles to help guide those conversations. I’ve come away disappointed at what I found.
Thank you for sharing your perspective and your experiences. It’s encouraging to find others who see it the same way through their own lenses.
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I used to despise the Prov 31 woman too…it was too much pressure. But then I heard an elderly woman talk about her and one thing jumped out…This was her life…not one day of her life… Anyway, I get your thoughts here…I have ministered to women for about 15 years thru Bible study and mentoring. There is nothing more hurtful than the comparison game. (it’s played by non christians too btw) I did it as a young wife, but finally realized, I have many gifts that others didn’t have and vice-versa. At age 53, there are still things I wish I did better, or even wanted to do better, but I don’t. But I’ve been married 33 years, have 3 adult children who by God’s grace are believers and are productive citizens. One thing I heard when they were much younger that gave me such relief was from James Dobson: As parents we can’t take all the credit (for our children’s behavior) and we can’t take all the blame. That goes for our husbands too. I have been strong and I have been weak…I like strong better, but weak is sometimes necessary in order to allow someone else to be strong. It’s ok to be both.
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Krista, it is NO mistake that I found this article tonight when just a few days ago I was crying in my kitchen telling God that I was not the Proverbs 31 woman!!! I imagined it was being able to sew my own clothes and raise children perfectly and have the house cleaned and when I realized I just wasn’t living up to this standard I had set for myself, I felt like such a failure. The first year of my marriage to my husband was the hardest time of my life!!! Nobody prepared me for how hard it was going to be. We swore we wouldn’t talk about divorce but we came close so many times, I lost count. And despite friends and family telling me to divorce him and yes, me begging God to let me get out of it, I went back and have been back for a few weeks now. It cost me friendships and even the fellowship of my mother over this but I know it’s where God wants me to be. I’ve been told I am strong but I don’t see myself like this at all. But I can say this: God has given me strength to make it through it all. He has changed my heart and life and I don’t regret how hard it’s been to come to this place in my life. God alone is what kept my husband and I together and through it God is teaching us how to love one another is spite of incredibly difficult circumstances (you name it, we are probably struggling with it—being poor, being reviled by family/friends, struggling with sins of the flesh, the list goes on and on). But we are together and we trust in God like we never have before. And I am so glad God brought me through it, even if I was kicking and screaming through it all at first. Thank you SO much for this article and having the courage to share your heart with others. Godspeed!!!
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An excellent article. ALL the words. As a PK, I have vivid memories of my mother’s take on Proverbs 31. “It doesn’t say she did all of those things on the same day.”
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Your mother is a wise woman, Kay. I needed to hear that because sometimes when I read Proverbs 31, I think exactly what the author of this article was thinking about those FB posts listing all the amazing things other women accomplished. But your mother’s reminder is sound. In fact, I bet the Proverbs 31 woman did NOT pack her day too full in order to spend time with her husband and children. Good thought, thanks.
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Great post! God will supply our need! I came home from the hospital ten weeks ago with premature twins. On the car ride home, I prayed for strength. Without God, I would not have been able to care for Sarah and Gideon!
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Thank you for this! God has used you to speak encouragement to me! I wholeheartedly agree with your description of a Godly, virtuous woman that Proverbs 31 speaks of! I, too, have had to rely on God’s strength to keep holding onto a marriage riddled with abuse. We, too, have children–little girls who NEED desperately to see my strength in the midst of tumultuous moments. I have cried, prayed, SCREAMED at God to deliver me from this marriage, to CHANGE HIM. But, nothing. Through consistent prayer and requests for wisdom, God began to move. He began changing ME! My responses, my words, my actions, my attitude. I have never felt stronger or more secure in The Lord in my life. I know the strength/perseverance you speak of! It’s ONLY by Gods grace and strength that I am able to love my husband and be his cheerleader, best friend, and support. You are not alone.
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This post literally just touched my heart so deeply, thank you! Its such a good reminder that the Lord is faithful, and strong, and to trust in Him in my winter. I am for sure experiencing a winter, and I don’t know how long it will last. I have been married for two and a half years, more has happened in these last few years to hurt me than i could have ever imagined. I have to apply the gospel daily to keep from blaming myself. If anyone reads this please pray for marriages in the church and for my husband and I.
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Here I am at 66 and couldn’t have said it nearly as well as you have. I am finally old enough to have mercy on all the women hiding behind the facade. They are usually afraid of anybody that
might topple their perfect picture. If they only knew the truth, our real growth happens when we are humble and honest with one another. James 4:10 It has taken me far too many years to learn this truth. So thankful to the Lord that this old girl is still learning. His Word really is a lamp to our feet and sharper than a double edged sword. Psalms 119:105 / Hebrews 4:12-13
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WOW!!!!! Loved it and thanks for sharing your experience and speaking such wise WORDS!! As a counselor, phd student, and wife I NEEDED THIS!!
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I applaud you for sharing your feelings on being a “godly woman”. Your words gave me great comfort and encouragement. I too have had to be strong, when I felt like crumbling to the floor. Only God could restore me. I thank Him for his grace and mercies. Life is hard, and without God’s help, I could not have survived it. Thank you for sharing.
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I was very disturbed by the curse word. Your point was coming across just fine without it. So my question is, why did you feel the need to fit in with the world right at the end to finish up lesson? I was very discouraged by just one word.
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Very beautifully put….thank you.
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All of you who are posting about your concern of a curse word? Please continue living your sheltered and ridiculously fake lives. You’ve missed the entire point of this post and have no right to sit on your mighty throne judging pure hearts who have the strength and vulnerability to be real while you sit back wagging your finger. Examine your own hearts. Break down the walls of your self righteousness and GET REAL. Why does our culture reject Jesus? Look in the mirror.
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HOSEA 4:6
MY PEOPLE ARE DESTROYED FOR LACK OF KNOWLEDGE. BECAUSE YOU HAVE REJECTED KNOWLEDGE, I ALSO WILL REJECT YOU FROM BEING PRIEST FOR ME, BECAUSE YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN THE LAW OF YOUR GOD, I ALSO WILL FORGET YOUR CHILDREN
Heres the thing. Who’s opinion really truly matters?
Is it mine? Is it yours? or IS IT GOD’s. The answer is God’s.
You can take one scripture and ask a billion people their opinion and every single person wil have a completely different opinion. Everyone has different beliefs. But the sad part is most people believe what they wanna believe. What i mean is most people take scriptures from the bible and make it fit to what they want to do. They justify their sin. THAT DOES NOT MAKE THAT PERSON RIGHT!! You can sit here all day and justify cursing, but that does not make it right. Like i said we all have “OUR OPINIONS” and “OUR BELIEFS” but it doesnt matter what you and i think. WHAT MATTERS IS WHAT GOD THINKS!!! i hope everyone can agree with that. THE BIBLE DOES NOT LIE. AND THE BIBLE CLEARLY SAYS DO NOT ADD OR TAKE AWAY. IT IS WHAT IT IS!! ITS WHAT GOD SAYS not me! And i rather do what god tells me to do instead of listening to other peoples opinion bc we all will be held accountable for each and every word that comes out our mouths. This is the last thing im gonna say IM ASKIN YOU ALL TO PLEASE GO READ YOUR BIBLE & YOU WILL FIND ALL OF THE ANSWERS THERE. ITS VERY IMPORTANT THAT YOU KNOW YOUR WORD.
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I soooo agree with you! The answers are all in The Bible!
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Sarah,
awesome comment. I like that. Ppl don’t want the whole word of God, just the ones they can use that fits their life style.
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Lacey,
Nicely put! Good job
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Awesome post! I wish there were more ladies like you in the church today, real ones with real feelings. You and my wife would get a long nicely. I’ll show her this post. Godspeed to you.
Tim.
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I usually don’t comment on blogs but I really want to add another positive comment to outweigh the negative ones. It is SUCH a shame that some focus on ONE “curse” word. Actually, it’s ridiculous. I could go on and on about that but I’m sure it would fall on deaf ears and the Bible says not to argue with fools. PLEASE keep writing and sharing your wisdom! As a 26 year-old newly wed (3 years) I crave advise from Godly women such as yourself. Thank you!
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AMEN!
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Yes!! I spent 10+ years in pastoral ministry and have always had a major issue with Proverbs 31 and how it’s preached/taught. It was even a running joke every Mother’s Day because everyone knew I had such an issue with it! I agree that there is much of value there, but it’s not what is typically focused on. Thanks for this.
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Hahaha! Killed em. This post made me happy inside. It’s so much more attractive in every way for we Christian men when we find faithful, strong Godly woman who don’t feel that being a faithful Christian woman involves being a piece of bedroom furniture or a kitchen appliance for her family. 🙂
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Great post Krista! Brought back alot of memories of good ole Bobby Jones University when my wife and I attended. I wonder how many of those who criticize your language have spent much time in ‘The World’ they talk so much about. I hear profanity every day in my line of work and its hard not to say or think it. Before you judge me walk a mile in my boots. I bet if you could you may see life through a new lens and reshape your priorities and perspectives. If not thats ok too. If nothing else at least we know who wont be joining The Rent Is Too Damn High Party any time soon.
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(Sigh! ) Thank you! Thank you for being real! I want my daughter to be prepared for real life… The kind of real where you hurt so badly you’re not sure if you can take the next breath, or care to. The kind of real where you are called upon to be the strong help-meet you described and know it is only because you’ve already walked through the fire and found God faithful that you can be that strong woman. These are truly the things that need to be shared! Crockpots and clean houses are veneer and ,sadly, a clever tool of Satan to leave us feeling unworthy and powerless. I have been thoroughly challenged to drop any facade…Life is messy. But God is faithful and strong! And I am His …so thankful. Great post! Good job!
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I needed that! I’ve been married to my husband for two years now and want so much to be that Godly wife for him. I strive to be! Thank you for sharing this! This was validation for me that along with being a soft spoken wife I can also be strong too
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Get back in the kitchen!
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Awesome!!!!
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In the Hebrew Bible, the book of Ruth follows Proverbs 31. The placement is not accidental. These are the only two places in the OT that use the phrase “noble woman.” Ruth, a poverty-stricken widow from a heathen nation who is forced to glean to have enough to eat, is put into the same category as the woman of Proverbs 31, the rich wife whose husband sits as an elder in the gates of the city. The beauty of the Proverbs 31 woman is not in the details of her work and economic situation but in the fact that she “fears the Lord.”
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Oh, the religious demons that get stirred up when someone uses a word someone else doesn’t approve of. Good thing we are trying to be God pleasers, not man pleasers
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I remember the Lord asking me to forgive my husband… and even more clearly, me kicking and screaming, begging God to let me move on; to give me permission to break ties with the man I was petrified would hurt me once again! But the Lord never wavered. I was furious, and shaken, but I was STRONG enough to choose to please the Lord above all else, and embark on a journey to learn to love my husband again. And for the record, I am so incredibly glad I did!
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Are you saying you were petrified he would hurt you physically or emotionally? Petrified is a strong word. Abuse is not something to take lightly. Perhaps I misunderstood you and you went on from that point to have a wonderful marriage? Or did you decide to put up with abuse thinkinginy it would be more pleasing to the Lord? Even if we are taking about “just” emotional abuse here, abuse is abuse. I left an abusive marriage (emotionally and later physically abusive) and I am thankful that the Lord did not allow me to stay in that marriage, for my own sake and that of my children.
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I took from her word choice that he may have done something, not to her, that hurt her. Maybe I read it that way as my husband made some very poor choices and they hurt me on a very deep, spiritual level. However, I do understand your concern.
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To everyone attacking this lady because she said a bad word- Show some grace and maturity will you? When does the Bible ever tell us to tear each other down? Or to squabble over petty things, especially in such a public forum? What kind of people are we showing ourselves to be to the world here? Rise up, good Christians! Take up arms against unkind and unhelpful words coming from your own hearts! If you truly felt led to comment on our lovely author’s imperfections (which we, of course, have none of our own!), I feel it should have been sent as a kind, gentle, private message, with the purpose of encouraging and strengthening her, and absolutely no other reason! And if your heart isn’t in a place where you can do that, then do hold your tongue. Remember that your words are a powerful tool. I praise God that she is a strong and secure Christian writer. Were she new and not established, this could have discouraged her to the point of no longer writing and sharing her wisdom.
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You are right, Adrianne! Good for you for saying something. I am amazed at all the petty statements over one word. They will know us by our Love. Where is the love? God is love, and He would not respond to this article, this truth, in this way.
http://www.saythat–again.com
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Thank you for sharing this. I am in a difficult time of marriage and I keep crying out to God to come and there are times I’m tired of being the strong one when I feel it should be the man who is strong. That you for the encouragement. I also think that proverbs 31 states that she was a business woman, yet another wrongly preached concept of ‘godly women ‘ that we meant to be submissively baking cakes and rejoicing while we wash dirty socks! I think she went a considered a field and that her family where dressed in fine linens etc that came as a result of her earnings. This is not a banging the drum for rising up feminist it’s about Gods holy order and calling women to be who he created us to be. Thank you again for sharing xx
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My favorite part was when she seeith a field and buyeth it without any mention of consulting her husband first.
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I want to encourage all of the believers here to deal with one another with grace and forgiveness. Every one of us has done something, and probably will do something in the future, that has hurt or offended someone else. We all want God and the person we offended to forgive us and show us love instead of condemnation. Please remember this, whether you are offended at the use of profanity, or you are venting anger at those who seem focused on only the profanity, or whatever your grievance is: We are called, above all else, to love one another as we love God!
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Amen!! Love this article – thanks for sharing with such honesty – so refreshing!! Reminds me of a book I’ve read – Lost Women of The Bible by Carolyn Custis James. That truly spoke to my heart as a woman and opened my eyes as to who God had created me to be – the “ezer” or the strong helper, not just the helpmate! This is the book you should have read in college in that silly class. Learning to be strong warriors for The Lord and our families. I’ll get off my soapbox now – read this book if you haven’t. I know you’ll enjoy it. Thanks again for sharing this much-needed-to-hear message!!
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For the people who chastise Krista for staying in an abusive marriage, she said they engaged in mutual screaming matches, and that he hurt her, not that he physically abused her. Screaming matches is the result of two people out of controll venting anger, and usually involves hurtful words that are often best left unsaid. All of us, the healthy ones, reach a point in our marriages where we realize that that wonderful person we married is not who we had imagined they would be. That hurts– and two selfish people trying to change each other really hurt each other. Often.
Once the “honeymoon” is over, the real work of marriage where each person looks to the needs of the other. Dick Beiber once said that your marriage is either a taste of heaven or a taste of hell. It only becomes a taste of Heaven when both of you put The Lord first, The other person second. You come third.
Krista, thank you for sharing from your heart, and, frankly my dear, I don’t care about the eternal destiny of your crock pot. (My pun won’t bother the legalists, because they never watch movies)
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I had a class exactly like that at my bible college and was so put off by the fact that it was more how to be the perfect housewife than how to be a strong woman of God that I took a 0.0 for the class because I wasn’t allowed to drop or transfer out of the class.
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Wow!!! Not offended AT.ALL!!!! I have thought the exact same thing!!!! I am the woman in the struggling marriage who remains strong, but I’m not posting it on Facebook. There are days I would like to “vent” my frustrations, but then I just look like I’m crazy, the exact opposite of strong.
Thank you so much for this post. It’s nice to know I’m not alone. That, I’m not a weak woman for staying committed to my marriage.
With God, all things are possible!!!
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Years ago I counseled my older sister who was going through a crisis about working full time with young children. She believed that is what the Bible taught. Her secular counselors couldn’t understand her struggle. I told her she was believing a myth. If you really read about the women of faith in the Bible, including Proverbs 31, you read about real women who did what they had to do while honoring God above all else. There was no such thing as a stay at home mom until the industrial revolution, every woman has always been a partner in providing for their families. Even the word “wife” doesn’t mean a married woman, it means a career woman (midwife, fishwife). Yes we need more strong real women of faith, and strong real men of faith. I am glad I know some, I wish I knew more.
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Wow, this is amazing! I’ve had similar experiences that have made me feel like I’ll never measure up to to a true godly woman and I love hearing you say that being godly is more than being a domestic goddess. Thanks for the encouragement today.
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I’m hungry….go make me a sandwich
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This is so inspiring! I am a single mother of a 15 year old daughter. There have been so many times that I have had to be strong because no one else would be there to pick me up from the floor. My faith has been shaken but there is one thing that is constant and that is God’s love for me. I have cried reading this but it was a good cry. Although I have never been married, I still try to be a Godly parent. I feel that I have to be strong because my daughter is watching every decision that I make. In times of trouble I know my God hides me in the safety of His arms. Thank you for making me better.
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I taught a study on the Proverbs 31 woman a couple of years ago. I did a lot of research and read numerous interpretations by noted scholars. It was very interesting to compare the interpretations of men and women. The men were much more generous and realistic in their interpretation. It was the women who put pressure on women to fulfill the image that is presented. The men suggested there was no woman in the Bible who actually lived up to the Proverbs 31 woman.
I read quite a few blogs by Christian writers. I never ceased to be amazed at the judgment and condemnation in the comments. When Christians are so hateful to each other, we don’t make it very attractive to non-believers.
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I will be honest, I am of a completely different faith path as you. However, that does not change that this has touched me. I grew up with the Bible and the teachings in there and Proverbs will forever be my favorite book of the Bible, one that I can apply in my faith, no matter how different it may be. This was a beautiful reminder to me, in this very dark time in my marriage, to rely on my faith, allow God to comfort me when my husband will not as he is the reason for all of my pain. Maybe I should not have broken down so when our friend tragically died, but by that point, he had already hurt me and my strength was wavering. I have my own struggles that he never helped me with, and they consume my strength continually. However, as I’ve said, this has renewed the strength I was blessed with, the strength that got me through the constant battle that has been my life. It is this strength, that if it is the will of the All Mighty, will get me through an impending divorce, or help me lead my husband to mend our marriage. Again, thank you for this. It was much needed.
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I hope you can look at Proverbs 31 in a different way. The Proverbs 31 women is strong. She takes care of her family. She provides finances. She is a leader. She works together with her husband. You are being a Proverbs 31 women.
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Thank you for this post. Please ignore the negative comments and focus on the fact that this has been shared 10,000+ times on Facebook alone! 🙂 Keep sharing from your heart!
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Krista,
You are so very right. our dear Lord will be there always. Thank you so very much
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It is so sad that men forever seek to develop a patina of “sexy” on their wives. “Sexy” is for teenage boys who are lost in a hormonal haze of lust and lack identity with Christ. Guys, “sexy” is the world speaking; the siren call of the flesh; the reef upon which you can wreck your relationship with your wife, your marriage, and even your life. “Sexy” is the culture of the world. “Sexy” is the fool following his sin nature around like a lost sheep. Christ is perfect. You and your wife are imperfect; are terribly flawed; are continually embattled by the presence (but not the penalty and power) of sin. “Sexy” is skin deep; shallow; temporary.
Forget sexy and practice love (see 1 Cor:13) Love brings forth the fruit of romance. Romantic is a thing of the heart. Romantic is a thing of giving… unconditionally. Romantic is the ethics of the love Christ freely gives to us and we, in turn, should give freely to our wives. Be a romantic, in Christ, with your wife… give her your heart, in Christ…
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It was so refreshing to me, as someone who just turned 50, to hear a younger person with these thoughts and use of Scripture. I have struggled with the “type cast” roles for Godly women for a long time. I have spent time discussing this with older folks (mentors) very strong and wise in their faith, both men and women. I have heard them say many times that tradition has dictated women’s roles far more than Scripture has. Sad isn’t it? As with most traditions there is fear attached if you examine them closely. Fear paralyzes people. I have found myself wanting to say so many times in my spiritual walk, “I just want to use the talents God has given me and I want to grow as He has commanded by being challenged!” These talents may be outside the realm of housekeeping, cooking, entertaining, teaching children’s Bible classes, etc. God created all of us (male and female) with far more ability to do His will than we are willing to open ourselves up to. Fear again. May we stop looking at each other as males and females when it comes to doing God’s work and do what he has gifted us to do. Having said that we must stay within the parameters of Scripture as we use what He has given us. Thank you for your words and stay in prayer about this. God already knows all about the traditions that keep us immobilized.
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Well spoken, God bless
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