I realize that this post may offend certain people: Good people, people who I’d probably really get along with otherwise…
But for the record, I am not sorry.
Last week’s post Worthy of Rubies was me, buttoned up in my ‘Sunday’s best’ and smiling pretty. But over the last couple of days a fire has come over me and I can’t keep silent.
You see, I hate when women stand before other women and use their platform to hide behind facades of ideal marriages, perfect specimens of children and strong opinions on the likes of breastfeeding, vaccines, and church politics…
I cringe when the Kim Kardashian’s of the world pose half-naked in an attempt to prove that they’re still sexy, when any ‘real mom’ feels like anything but! When friends on Facebook post statuses like “ …Made 6 loaves of banana bread, ran 12.8 miles, fed the homeless, and saved a cat, and was still able to get home in time to make homemade apricot pork loin and apple crisp for dinner tonight,” while the rest of us are left wondering how we even made it out of our pajamas today?!?
I don’t know when being sexy and domestically superior made us more of a woman, but let me challenge you with what I believe is the #1 misconception of a godly woman…
Years ago, I took a class in bible college that still to this day gets my blood boiling. It was a class called Christian Womanhood.
Three times a week hundreds of college freshman ladies piled into the auditorium, and who if they were anything like me, anticipated by the name of the class ‘Christian Womanhood’ that we would come to understand what it truly meant to become the godly woman the Lord desires for us to be.
Most of the girls attending the class would one day go on to become pastor wives, missionaries, and christian school teachers. Women who would have the potential to impact other women, communities and the World in POWERFUL ways!
And yet, THIS is what we learned…
– How to execute a wedding. Complete with rehearsing a mock wedding in which each of my peers played a ‘part.’ I however, sat in the audience (on the groom’s side if you want to be specific) uninterested, and unapologetic …I mean, seriously?
– The importance of making dinner for our families each night, and pointed out the convenience of using a crock pot. …Yep, it happened.
– Why we must only read the King James Version of the Bible. But I have no notes on that lesson, because unashamedly, I tuned that one out!
It was also in this class that we did an in-depth study of Proverbs 31 in the Bible. Which wasn’t bad per se, but due to all of the above (and the fact that I actually paid for this nonsense of a class!) I don’t think it would surprise anyone to know that still to this day, I have a physical aversion to any of the topics covered in that class, including the beloved Proverbs 31 woman!
Interestingly enough though, my husband came to me last week and asked me to write a devotion for our church on you guessed it – Proverbs 31! And in all honesty I fought it HARD, as if to completely downplay the significance of it in the Bible.
And yet as I pored over the chapter myself, I realized something I had never seen before, something I can assure you was NEVER taught in my class all those years ago:
Who can find a capable wife?… She is energetic and STRONG… She has NO FEAR of winter… She is clothed with STRENGTH…
Proverbs 31:10, 17, 21, 25
The Proverbs 31 woman is a lot of things- domestic and lovely, successful and well-respected, But most repeated, she is STRONG! Not anything like the passive and weak woman we are so often encouraged to be! She has no fear of winter – the difficult times to come – and is most definitely not limited to planning weddings and using crock pots!
It got me thinking go the times I have had to be strong…
When 2 years into my marriage, when we should have been comparing paint swatches for the living room and eating breakfast in bed (or whatever it is that newlyweds do!) but instead we were battling it out in screaming matches and trying to decided what we would do with the house in the event of a divorce.
…When The Lord asked me to forgive my husband, and when even more clearly, I begged God kicking and screaming to let me move on, to give me permission to break ties with the man I was petrified would hurt me once again! But how the Lord never wavered.
How I was furious and shaken, but STRONG enough to choose to please the Lord above all else and embark on a journey to learn to love my husband again. And for the record, I am so incredibly glad I did!
How years later, we faced an unimaginable tragedy in our church while my husband was away at summer camp. How I wanted nothing more then for my husband to walk through the door, so I could immerse myself into the comfort of his arms, allowing myself to freely fall into a heap of tears with the one person who shared my mutual heartache. And how it never happened…
Because upon returning home, my husband made only one request: we not cry. How instead, he wanted to watch the news footage covering the accident over… and… over… and lay on floor and listen to worship music until late into the night. How he needed me there, and how more than anything he needed me to be STRONG!
How impossible it felt (how impossible it would’ve been apart from the Lord!) but how I sought hard to find my strength in Christ, relying on Him wholeheartedly for my comfort so that I could be strong for my husband, so that in return, he could be strong for so many others as their Pastor!
Oh, how my soul longed in those moments, for a woman to have opened up and spoken to me as a college freshman about THAT! To have a woman stand before me, vulnerable about her overwhelming fears and unworthiness, but of God’s immeasurable strength available to us in spite of it!
And so if I could teach a class on christian womanhood, and if all of you reading were my exceptionally lovely students, I would tell you that the most breathtaking picture of a ‘christian woman’ is not merely a sweet, modest, well-spoken, domestic goddess – but the woman whose strength and unshakeable faith lifts up all those around her despite the circumstance or ‘winter’ she has found herself in. (Prov. 31:21)
I’d tell you that no matter how beautiful of a bride you make, that one day your marriage may feel hopeless. And to remember when that day comes, it’s not a direct reflection of the INADEQUACY of you, but the potential GREATNESS of God if we allow Him to restore the broken pieces left of our hearts, and our vows.
That one day, the strong men we marry may need OUR strength to literally and physically pick them up off the floor, and that it won’t be a damn crock pot that will save the day, but the fire deep within us to FIGHT for our marriages and for our husbands to be the godly men that the Lord desires them to be!
Because the truth is, EVERYONE can let us down. But by choosing to find our strength in Christ, there is NOTHING God can’t grant us, and NOTHING He can not restore!
We need only to turn to Him, for He is the only one capable of giving life to our broken hearts and the strength we need to keep holding on.
And it would be as simple as that.
Class is dismissed.
Krista Ortiz 
I really liked your articl but I have to say it was a stumbling block where you say, “dam* crockpot”. Not sure why you chose that word because as a Bible believer you certainly know not to cuss:(
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Damn! I am a christian, and I can cuss with the best of ’em.
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Few things are more damaging to the Christian faith than taking partial or misquoted verses out of context. For example. If I’m in court being accused of murder and I say “there’s no way I killed him” and only “I killed him” is quoted… I’m kind of toast aren’t I? Yes I spoke the words but out of context they have an entirely different meaning!
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Thank you for your openness and willingness to tackle these ‘misconceptions’ on what a ‘Christian wife’ should look like. I am totally with you and stand behind your thoughts. By the way – the Proverbs 31 woman had servants. 🙂
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My wife is the strongest, struggleing, Godly woman I know. God bless her, and God bless you Krista for this teaching.
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Thank you for this passionately transparent and desperately needed reminder that life in Christ is extremely challenging. Why else did God himself command His followers to “be strong and courageous…” in the face of an assured victory? A victory He promised to carry out.
And as far as the four letter word use that is sadly dominating the comments (really people?), we are instructed to curse everything that leads us away from the Lord and His Word. Suggesting that maintaining an orderly home is the primary call of a woman is exactly that. A married woman’s place is side by side, or back-to-back, fully armed and engaged in life’s battles with her husband. And the battles are often fierce.
May God bless us with the eyes to see the real enemies.
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How is it that so many people can love this post when in it begins with judgement?
Why is it your business what women are using their platforms for? If it the true meaning of proverbs 31 to be a strong woman, how do you know that isn’t exactly what they are doing in their own way.
If you don’t like women that bake, run, and clean while you stay in your pajamas how are you any stronger than anyone else? Strong women shouldn’t judge each other.
The sad part, I’m not a Christian. Posts riddled with judgement from “Christians” have been flooding my news feed this week and it concerns me. It is part of what holds me back from wanting to be a part of the “Christian brotherhood”.
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She never judged people for being the dainty housework style wife she judges that people claim you aren’t a Godly woman if you aren’t following that specific dogma. Remember, Jesus may be the only way to Heaven but there are tons of ways to Jesus. What brings one to him may not work for another, as long as it doesn’t contradict scripture ( which nothing said in this article does) it’s about the heart, not cultic following of mans law.
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Isn’t it ironic that you criticize Christians who criticize and then use that as your excuse for avoiding the brotherhood when in fact it appears you’d fit right in, based on your own judgments. Krista’s observations are so right on; we judge ourselves by numerous measuring sticks, continuously striving to “achieve” when the bottom line is to let Jesus have control, serve him. My personality does not fit into someone else’s idea of the perfect woman, but it does fit with Jesus. Obedience to Him frees us from the constraints of others judgment and allows us to function within His plan. Krista’s examples (not criticism) help us to understand. It’s not always easy, it’s not always fun, but it is always totally satisfying.
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Blaming the author for your unwillingness to fall to your knees and beg Jesus Christ to forgive your sins and the strength to live a open and Christian lifestyle is patently absurd. Saying that seeing a Christian sin makes you not want to be a Christian is like saying you don’t want to be a mother because you saw a mother treat her child badly once. What you see going on around you and how you see Christians behave really should have no bearing on whether or not you want to become a Christian. Because a Christian understands very well that despite their best intentions Christians can and do sin, that is exactly why we need Jesus Christ because he forgives our sins and gives us the strength to carry on and try to limit our sins as much as humanly possible. If Christians did not sin then there would not be a need for a savior. The fact that you are a self-professed unbeliever and imply in your post that you do not have a desire to be a believer is simply because you do not desire to change your life or to give your life over to Jesus Christ. I honestly can say that I truly desire you to see the light and to give your self over to Christ so that you may experience the wonders of a Christian perspective and life. As long as you choose to blame other Christians for why you are not a Christian that simply will not occur, you must realize what you are and ask God for forgiveness. That is one of the main social reasons and the differences between Christians and unbelievers, we understand what we are and how corrupt our human nature is and desire for God to save us from ourselves. In conclusion please please stop blaming other people for why you are an unbeliever and really sit down and self analyze and realize what you truly are and then to get on your knees and ask Jesus for forgiveness and strength. That is what I have done and what all Christians have done, because we all sin and all need forgiveness.
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Please don’t let the actions of “Christians” hold you back from accepting God’s free gift. Seek a personal relationship with God and follow CHRIST (not Christians). The rest will take care of itself.
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Jennifer, the whole point of this post is to first allow the writer to vent. She was letting those who will read this know how she feels. She was in no way trying to make others feel bad..in fact she was almost saying how she at times felt bad because she felt like she did not match up or could ever even catch up to those who are able to do all those things that she stated as an example.
Also since you stated that you are not a Christian then you may not understand where she is coming from. There are those unfortunately who do use their power or platforms be it in church, the community, and or christian schools to feed concepts to others that are not bionically sound but are their personal beliefs and do berate you if you do not agree. That is not being strong in any shape or form!! God allows us to have our freedom of choice…so who are we to push our personal beliefs (again, not biblical) on anyone! I for one have gone to Christian schooling and church all my life and experienced that many times (too many to even count)! And know exactly what she is saying. She is entitled to her own feelings just as you are, and opinions..you can’t take that from her. She knows what she has dealt with.
As for the whole christian brotherhood comment. If you are waiting for Christians to stop being judgmental and are looking to them before joining the Christian faith then you will be waiting for a very, VERY, long time. The whole point of Christianity is knowing that you are a sinner in need of a God to transform you into the person He envisions you to be. You can’t look to others, they (we) will always fall short but GOD never does. I am truly sorry that you have had bad experiences with Christians but they are not the ones to be looking at for perfection. Christ is! Be blessed!
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Jennifer, I know it’s frustrating to see Christians behave in sometimes ungodly and judmental ways. I would just encourage you to seek what feels right in your heart. If you want to follow Christ but are unsure because of what your Christian friends or influences are doing, that’s not what following Christ means. It’s a relationship with him that you decide to make. Some people are Christians, but are not Christ-like. It’s sad. But don’t let people like that steal your curiosity for what a true life with Christ is like. It’s hard to believe (I searched for a long time), but there ARE genuine communities of faith in Christ that own their sins and continually accept those who are seeking, with no judments. I pray you find a place like that.
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Girl….I get you. I was you. I shared your perspective. And I RESISTED and REJECTED “Christianity” for soooo long. I was engaged to a “CHristian” – he and his family convinced me that I had no need for that baloney. What a crock.
I escaped that hell time, and years later I became involved in a church…with real people…who in a casual and real way LIVED the CHrist-life. It changed everything for me. THese folks are so different from what I had always experienced with “Christians.”
Your interpretation of this post is (I feel) a direct result of your experiences in a broken and fallen world. And whether you believe it or not, the evil one rejoices in your experience, because it keeps you from experiencing His real Love.
I struggle daily. I question daily. I dont always know if I REALLY BELIEVE. But I have seen the other side of the Christian coin, and I want that Joy. God wants it for me.
You keep your options open. Sometimes hard-core and long-term Christ-followers cannot remember (or never knew) the early, struggling days for those who GOD IS CALLING TO HIMSELF. You, who are bothered by the apparent fallacy of a belief system that is so filled with (people) who are corrupt, are STILL READING POSTS and your VERY STRUGGLE indicates that you are being called.
Love to you my friend.
Tracy…former pagan, catholic, budding buddist, non-believer. Now I belong to Jesus even tho I shame Him daily.
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HELLO POT meet KETTLE,
I find your attempt to contradict her words pathetic. She was precisely saying just such and your judgement was a perfect example of hypocrisy. “Your judgements….” her point was strengths can be measured in all facets, not that cooking and caring for a home are the only measures. Meaning it can still be one just not the only.
Your attempt to call out the Christian brotherhood was pretentious considering she was uplifting and laying no judgment upon others in her post. But nice attempt.
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Jennifer – I agree with you, there is judgement among believers, I am a Christian and it truly breaks my heart to see it. It happens outside the church too, but we are supposed to be different, we are supposed to be a group of people that you can’t help but see the love from. Unfortunately we make mistakes, we are immature, selfish, and too often we finally start to mature and we become prideful, just like everyone else. If you are considering Christianity, if you are drawn to who Jesus Christ is I would you encourage you think about how he would speak to you. Like the woman at the well or the woman caught in adultery, he didn’t talk to them about what other people were doing, he talked to them about their sins and what he wanted them to do. You and I are both sinful, selfish people, we are not worthy of standing before a perfect God, but he wants to forgive us and he wants us to be those people that draw others to his love. And to him it won’t matter what other people did, it will matter what we did. I will pray for you and your journey, and I hope to be able to count you as a sister in Christ and a person that has tried to show the love of Christ to Christians and non-Christians.
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Thank you. I read this and i have always struggled with being the woman of God that so many people have taught me she should be (and it sounds scarily like the college class you took) or comparing myself to the ladies who feed the five thousand from the two crock pots, make their children’s winter wardrobe, rescue the dog from certain death, and have a perfect house, while doing all the fun things they saw on Pinterest to be a blessing to someone else. “and i’m over here like look i made pancakes”.
I have never looked at the Prov, 31 Woman from the “Strong” perspective. Allowing God to be strong in us, letting Him use our weakness to make us Strong. That opens up Prov. 31 to a whole new level.
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I can remember feeling overwhelmed by the thought of all the Proverbs 31 woman managed to accomplish…love the comments from those of you who said “she didn’t do it all in one day!” ^_^ I think that when we feel strongly about a topic, we sometimes come across as hostile, we sometimes let a word drop we wouldn’t use otherwise-is it weakness? Sure, but I have to be transparent here and say, “I’ve done it.” Not proud of it but feel honesty is really important here. I think the fact that the author is reading the Word is what should be important. I love what one lady who responded said: “Chew up the meat, spit out the bones.” What I took away from the author’s post was this: she loves her God, her husband and her home. She can sometimes become weak but she has also learned how to be strong-by leaning on God. In my opinion, that is a timely message and I thank her for writing it. Oh…and, Happy Thanksgiving to all of you. ❤
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This is such a powerful message. I am reminded in Ecclesiastes where it talks about the triple strand being unbreakable. No-where does it say one is weaker than the others, but that together all three make the strongest cord. While God made us differently, with different strengths and shortcomings, it’s together with God that we are at our strongest. Strong women of faith are found throughout the bible, and strong women of faith have altered history more than once. Amen and amen!
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This was a great read until I read the second to last paragraph. If you are going to write something this powerful, you might want to leave curse words out. Those are not godly and are definitely not what a godly woman (or Proverbs 31) woman should be. If you are a Christian, which I am assuming you are, you need to keep perverse things from your lips. Thank you for your time.
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I respected many of the things said in this article until I read the last paragraph. When you added the curse word, I lost all respect.
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I’m floored by the people who were fans of this blog until you stumbled upon a word that YOU wouldn’t use. The fact that you commented on a blog that was written with the intent of bringing a little bit of freedom to our sisters who are bound up in a performance based mentality with your condemnation of her use of ONE WORD, should be evidence to you of how much this blog needed to be written. It’s people like you who are perpetuating this kind of behavior in the church. You make sure to announce your exaggerated offense at anything you deem “ungodly” and can’t wait to take someone else’s inventory when you feel they’ve fallen short of YOUR standard. Meanwhile, the reality is that you’re not brave enough to turn around, look in the mirror and allow Jesus to take your inventory. For those of you that think being easily offended is a mark of how “Godly” you are, please remember, God didn’t call you to be offended by people, He called you to LOVE people. It’s time to put on your big girl pants, and get over yourselves.
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He who is without sin, let him cast the first stone….Let God and the Holy spirit work that out in her…you worry about the sins that you need to deal with
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Agreed. Totally lost my respect.
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It is my opinion that if that one word caused you to lose all respect then you had none to begin with. I am nothing, but a sinner saved by grace. I am not without sin, and neither are you or anyone else. I might not have chosen that word, but it did not make me lose respect or miss the message that the article sends. Remove the board from your own eye before removing the splinter from someone else’s eye. Get the message don’t critique it. I am grateful for someone who will stand up and teach the truth of the Proverbs 31 woman! I was blessed to have someone else teach it to me several years ago and not only as a lesson, but from watching their life.
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Good for you,.
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There is no Biblical foundation for these “curse” words that we use today. The words are totally arbitrary and have been given power by humans. A perfect example is the phrase “I’m pissed,” which to half of the country is considered a curse word, and to the other half it’s just a normal part of their vocabulary – Christian or not. Saying a word in and of itself isn’t sinful. That is legalistic. It’s all about the heart, and you can say these so called “curse words” without it affecting your heart because they are just words. And if you’re going to let one small word affect an good article, I would encourage you to check out the legalism that can be found in that sort of thinking.
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Love the article just not really sure why a cuss word had to be used. I got the point and understood the passion behind it didn’t need to us a cuss word to make a strong statement . Jesus took a lash across his back for that and he got to experience that pain all over again with that one word and when I read it before I realized it , my Holy Spirit that Jesus gave me was also offended and saddened. Just don’t see anywhere in the Bible Jesus had to cuss to make a point so why do those who claim to be Christians us vile words. Like I said loved the article until ….😞
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damn verb ˈdam
—used to show that you are angry or annoyed at a person, thing, or situation
—used to say in a forceful way that you do not care about something
: to send (someone) to hell as punishment after death
I’m thinking #2 fits well. A word fitly spoken. I don’t think she intends for the crock pot to be sent to hell.
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great post, up until the end??? mixed feelings…………….Why did you have to say that ONE word?
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THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!! I NEEDED TO HEAR THIS TODAY! You have ENCOURAGED me so much to keep going on and be STRONG. Thank you for your honesty and truth. Now I believe that when I am weak that is the chance God has to come through for me. When I don’t see situations turning around when I pray or I don’t think it is getting through I will not give up. You have given me new determination to press in, I cannot even begin to tell you what this has done for me today. I too pushed away the Proverb 31 woman and all that was tacked on to what she should look like, I will now read it in a very different light. :o) My husband and I lead a small group and I wasn’t sure how I could help the women in the group, their hurts and needs run so deep. I am now feel that I can encourage them to be who they are and find their strength in Christ to make them strong and know that HE CAN RESTORE. Thank you! God bless you.
Denise
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The KJV is the only version to read…. Cursing is not okay no matter if u feel anger
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Why should I only read the KJV? I can’t find anything in the bible that says that. Why should I only read a modern copy of an ancient book over another.
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Amen, I posted the same thing. Got many who disagree tho
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That was an amen to Ashley’s post commenting on the KJV is the ONLY word of God
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One last note: damn/damned/damnation is used 15 times in the bible and a third of them are in the four gospels themselves! So RELAX what makes it cursing is the heart behind it not the word itself. The bible says somewhere (can’t remember the passage) basically that if you feel guilty about it it’s sin, not that not feeling guilty makes everything ok but saying a cuss word may be sin for one person and not for another.
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People don’t feel guilty of murder, are they innocent?
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“I’m having an affair, and I don’t feel guilty about it bc it’s my husbands fault, so it’s not sinful.” Sin is sin in the eyes of God, if we don’t feel guilty about it doesn’t make it less sinful.
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I specifically stated that it “doesn’t make everything ok”, it is simply for some of the grey areas, say you watch looney tunes, I know for a fact some would call it sin and feel guilty for watching violence and (in bugs’s case sometimes) cross dressing. Am I going to hell for watching it? No! But if it makes you feel guilty usually that means don’t do it. Though guilt and shame should be distinguished clearly. Shame is a lie brought in from external sources guilt is put in your heart by God when you feel you have strayed. Personally I don’t cuss but depending on how it is done I don’t feel a person who uses certain man-made curses which were never intended to be profanity (ex: gay means happy, bitch means a female dog) these words were warped by society because they were used to offend others. The word itself is nothing without the heart behind it, good or bad. Adultery and murder are black and white it’s expressly called sin in the bible.
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This was a wonderful piece to read as a woman who not only hopes to lead Godly household with my husband and kids someday, but also as a woman who works in a male dominated field and needs extra strength to succeed. I also want to say that if you are focusing on the one curse word then you are focusing your energy on everything, but the message this blog provides. None of us are perfect or pretend to be which I feel you did a great job of showing! Thanks for writing this!!
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Krista,
What beautifully written words from an obvious beautiful heart! Thank you for this reminder. I often feel like its impossible to be the Proverbs 31 woman and it is if I’m trying to do it on my own. I am blessed with a wonderful church where we do talk real life and are transparent with our struggles. What I felt led to tell you was I think you should be a speaker at your old school to at least be the one real lesson they get that semester!
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I agree!
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Okay. Interesting. Well written.
But one question, how do you curse and give praise to The Lord in the same sentence?
Confused. Offended.
Michele
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How do you sin every day, and still praise the Lord? You are putting her sin of swearing above your sin…and they are all the same.
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Thank you, Krista for your honesty! I truly enjoyed reading this post and totally agree!
And to the ones who are complaining about the word “damn” – get overselves already. YOU are exactly the type of hypocrites who keep me out of church.
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Sorry! meant “Get over yourselves already!”
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You can’t bless with the word you cuss with… And it’s vice versa you are the type of hypocrites that keep millions out of church because… Because people will say “what’s the point of going to Church, I know people that go every Sunday and do things worst then me such as cussing, etc and I don’t go to church and cuss” why is it people that believe in other religions can respect their religions better than us Christians, is it because we take it for granted so much. And our Lord died on the cross for us unlike other religions!
Disappointing when Christians want to destroy the faith… Back in the day people could walk into church and feel so much “purity” and honest God seeking people that they wanted that life they wanted to “covert” and let go of their evil ways.
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Thank you for this! I needed to hear this today. 🙂 xo
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Wow! What timing! I’m at HSK hospital in Wiesbaden, Germany. I’m a proud, strong, military wife who has survived many deployments. But, my in-laws came to visit from South Carolina. And, my father-in-law has probably had a stroke while here. I’m in the waiting room, waiting for updates from my husband. I’ve got the kids covered, a plan for a friend to come get me so my husband can have the car here, plans for our kids on Thursday since I have a doctor appointment for issues I’ve been having. And, I want to do nothing but cry–for my husband and his parents. But, I must not fear winter. I must be STRONG! Thank you!
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Praying for you Amy
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I totally understand the pressure from Proverbs for us women to do this and that. It can certainly be overwhelming. It seems from reading you are overly angry. I was totally with what you were saying until you got to the cuss word. I don’t understand why that was needed. Many who read will dismiss the good things you said when you demonstrate lack of control.
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I agree I really liked the post until she cussed! The thing is she is an influence in many ways and we can’t bless with the tongue we curse with 🙂
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So you have never said anything to someone that you regret Sara? Do you not continue to say good things after that? Let him who is without sin cast the first stone…it is crazy how someone can read this whole passage and negate everything that was so wonderfully put and transparent, because of a word that was used REALLY?? that word is in the bible!
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Yes- yes- this is it! This is what our husbands, children, and friends need to see in us. Far beyond the outer appearances of being happy people- which is so often a fake appearance and others see right through. Thank you for this:).
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OUTSTANDING COMMENTARY!! Very thought provoking and eye opening. Thank you ladies for being the STRONG ones at times. God is soooo GREAT and GOOD. PRAISE HIM from whom ALL BLESSINGS flow . Amen and Amen .
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I like her post, I just disagree with her using damn. Actually the last 5 paragraphs were the most interesting 🙂
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Sara–We got it. You don’t like that she used a cuss word. You have pointed it out at least 5 times and it’s turning into a PRIDE issue for you… which is also a weakness. “Look at me, I would NEVER say a cuss word.” Frankly, she’s right. And you know what? Sometimes I curse too. I’m human. Groups like Bikers for Jesus say cuss words all them time and then bring rough, tough people to Christ. It takes all kinds. Thanks to Jesus for being who He is and using us as WE ARE.
Krista–A beautiful post. I struggled with this too and then learned that God can use me where I am because of who He created me to be. Love this message.
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Amen Lori!
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Thank you Lori, I was struggling with the right words for Sara.
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Sara, have you ever noticed the amount of time Jesus spent rebuking the Pharisees as compared to anyone else He encountered? …Why do you think that is? Just something you may want to stop and ponder before you post any more comments.
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PREACH PREACHA!!!!!!
I totally shared this on social media with cuss words attached. And I am ONE HUNDRED and a gajillion percent okay with it.
So, go. Go stand in the kitchen and eat raw brownie batter and get down – I’ve found kitchen dancing is even better with Bruce Springsteen and celebratory finger guns.
Thank. You. For. All. Of. This.
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Thank you! Not only did I need this right now (we’ve been married 17 years and in counseling) but I will save it for my two girls when they get married. God works in mysterious ways-even through Facebook. 😉
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I thought it was a great message. This message is what God intended for you to hear, this message is what helped you define troubled times overcome, and this message is something you want to share with others….. thank you for sharing. To others: hear it…. listen, even if you don’t like one word. Please do not tune out a message based on how it is delivered,
To: Jennifer
Jennifer
November 26, 2013 at 10:09 am
How is it that so many people can love this post when in it begins with judgement?
Why is it your business what women are using their platforms for? If it the true meaning of proverbs 31 to be a strong woman, how do you know that isn’t exactly what they are doing in their own way.
If you don’t like women that bake, run, and clean while you stay in your pajamas how are you any stronger than anyone else? Strong women shouldn’t judge each other.
Posts riddled with judgement from “Christians” have been flooding my news feed this week and it concerns me. It is part of what holds me back from wanting to be a part of the “Christian brotherhood”.
Jennifer: I believe you are expressing your beliefs, just as Krista. In fact, in almost the same manner. Good for you. I also agree that the sad part is you are not a Christian, but the want is in your heart. Christianity does not have to be part of a brotherhood, or join a fraternal order. In fact it can be just a relationship between you and God, if you wish it. Instead of judging what people post to determine your relationship with God, maybe you could speak with Him yourself, and make your own decisions about who you want to be.
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Amen Derrick!
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Just a thought from some of the negative comments in reaction to this. We love to throw around the words “judge” or “judging” or “judgmental”. And we so often use Matthew 7:1’s “do not judge” admonition as our fuel for our argument. JUST A THOUGHT. How about we try and read Matthew 7:1 in the context it was written? How about we hear those words in the context Jesus spoke them? Read the rest of the chapter before you think you understand what “do not judge” even means. Do not judge does NOT mean “do not discern right from wrong” or “do not encourage oneself or others to live more Godly lives”. If we actually READ Matthew 7. It is obvious that Jesus’ understanding/meaning of what it is to “judge” is vastly different from the modern/popular understanding.
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ok until you had to curse. Totally, overshadowed the meaning with hateful undertones. Sorry, won’t be reading your stuff again.
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My thoughts exactly. The post had good meaning behind it, but I don’t understand how one can spread the word of God while cussing. Makes no sense.
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God uses everyone..no one is perfect! How about encourage her in her ministry…
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Well said Krista!! Women are equals and partners. Never stop believing that!
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Would love to re-post, but unfortunately you used a cuss word so I won’t.
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What was the point of this comment but to tear a person down and raise yourself up? Get it, you have issue with the author’s choice of words, you made that clear in your comment above, why go further in pushing your negaitive opinion with this comment? The pharasaical opinions rife in this thread make me sick to my stomach, Jesus desires MERCY not SACRIFICE.
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Yawn. Another feminist rant about being a “strong” woman. No woman in today’s society is encouraged to be “passive” as the author suggests. This is right up there with Katy Perry and Rhianna. As a man, I’m sick of it.
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Actually, Mitch, there is still plenty of that going on in churches these days.
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Fantastic post! Thank you so much for standing up and having the courage to write this post! I especially needed to hear the bit about having the strength to forgive your husband and let God rebuild your marriage. My husband and I are just coming out of a season of pretty bad arguing, so I am learning this right now and what a hard lesson it is! Thank you again!!
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Thank you Krista for this story. I found you through a link of a friend on FB. It is extremely encouraging to me to hear of a young women shareing these thoughts. I have been a pastors wife for 25 years and I assure you I hardly ever use my crock pot. I struggle with those “winterery” times in my life. Yet, looking back over the struggle my husband has endured these past 7 years with depression from being fired from a church, I can clearly see that without a doubt, it is GOD who gives us the strength to pick our husbands up off the floor. Now, he is serving again in a church full-time and there are struggles yes, but we are not the same people we were 7 years ago. I am assured by the past that God will not and does not leave me high and dry. I don’t even have to call out to Him, I just need to whisper and He is there. Thank you. I am now following you and when I have time I may go back and read more of your posts. May God Bless you richly!
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Well damn! This is so good! As a pastor’s wife myself, and been through struggles, trauma, winter, winter, winter and life, I am so right with you! I have been told repeatedly by church members and Christian friends how in being real with these struggles and not trying to be perfect has helped them see the love of Jesus. I will repost and send to many!
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I would like to just say I needed to read this. Thank you for writing it.
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Thank you for this post!! I really needed to hear it. I am very dependent of my husband and sometimes he needs me. Sometimes he has a bad day at work and the weak woman in me thinks, “My day was just as rough and you’re the man…hold me up!!” But you’re so right. Our husbands need us to be strong so they can be strong in the world. Thank you!!!
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I would like to just say I needed to read this. Thank you for writing it. I often feel like I have to be perfect. Hair and makeup done kids dressed fed and entertained dinner on cooking after cookimg breakfast and lunch (I feel I need ro make everything from scratch or else Iit doesn’t count) and get down to a dress size that society feels is acceptable. I have a new look on our marriage now. Thank you for that
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I’ve never read your posts but found this through a friend and loved it. This has always been and always will be my belief. And to all of you who lost your interest so easily because of one cuss word, I can only imagine how easily you lose faith in God. If one word causes you to deny the fact that you should be sending uplifting encouragement to this woman who had the strength to bare her own opinion, it must not take to much to weave doubt and insecurity in your faith the second something seems off-putting or frightening to you. Or the fact that you have just proven utter weakness you are as a woman or man by turning your face against another child of God. Way to evangelize… I am not and will never be perfect or claim that I have not repeatedly doubted my standing in my faith, but you disgust me. I’m sure you are all so prim and proper that you have never tainted your tongue by gossiping, cussing, etc. Please. I probably won’t ever comment again and won’t give this a second thought after I post it, but I’d like to leave with saying that if you judge this woman so harshly on her actions than I’d really love to see what the Father has to say about your misdeeds and actions when it’s your time for judgement. Our God is perfect, his people are not. And neither are YOU! And yes, I am specifically pointing to you all. Because guess what, I’m not perfecting. And I am not God or Jesus incarnate. I sin, and yes, I’m judging you. Call it out, won’t break me whatsoever. I know who I answer to… Apparently, you don’t.
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I agree with you Marie, This women needs encouragement!! I am proud of her for bearing her soul on here…this mentality that we all need to be perfect at all times is exactly what causes others to leave the church and or feel discouraged…If others are offended by that word fine, they are entitled to that but why try to bring someone down for something that was used to express herself…Let God do His work in her…there is a loving way to say things to someone..no need to come off so harsh! Se is still human! We have a long way to go in our churches and in our communities and it is posts like this that will help us get there. I commend her on her thoughts and hope she continues to let God use her!!
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Very well said Marie!!!
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Amen. Been really shocked reading some peoples comments of judgemenal pharasaical negativity . Been struggli g to put into words what I think. But well said Marie!
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Thank you Marie, for having the courage to comment! Your words mean a lot to me and are such an encouragement, so thanks! 🙂
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Thank you so much for writing this. I am not married nor am I dating at this moment..but this post really resignated with me and I will keep this in my heart for when that time comes and when God sees fit…I never read that Proverbs verse and saw it in that light. Continue to let God use you. People will always be people..that is why we ALL need Jesus. Don not worry about the negative comments. Keep letting God use you and your ministry for Him! Stay blessed and Happy Thanksgiving!
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Can I just say how much I LOVE this? The past week I have felt like God has just brought so many things to me that I needed and this is one of them. The past year, which has been the first year of marriage for me, has been difficult to say the least. My husband who suffers from PTSD lost his job and everything bad that could happen, did. I have had to be the strong one and although there are times when I just want to give up and question why this is happening to us, I know at this time I need to be our family’s rock and it’s all part of a bigger plan. Reading this just solidified everything for me. I just wanted you to know I NEEDED this & your words touched me.
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It’s not an either -or scenario it’s both and. One of the strongest things my wife does is consistently make dinner and help with the home even after she’s had a tiring day of work just because she she knows it eases stress and gives me comfort and joy. I do my best to help her in that. Other times, as a young minister, my wife has stress of her own dealing with being in ministry and carrying other people’s burdens upon herself and yet she pushes through to the glory of God because she knows its our purpose. I appreciate your concept but i think you’re attacking the crockpot idea like its weak. It’s not weak. It’s strong as well.
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No. I’m not attacking that idea. That idea is my life, What I come home to on a daily basis. I think you misinterpreted what I was saying. I was saying at this juncture in my life, I am the one who needs be strong. You are right, it isn’t an either or scenario. We’re a team..but RIGHT now, he NEEDS me to be the strong one. I’m not saying women are weak for this whole crockpot thing that has came about here..I’m saying the role is interchangeable. As it should be.
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I’m sorry Leslie. I meant that as a reply to the general article not your statement. My bad
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Oh, no problem!! Haha..I was a little confused! 🙂
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Hey! Some great thoughts. Thanks for sharing.
Proverbs 31 is not about a woman… It is a metaphor for wisdom. The reason that the home is the setting for the passage is because the home is where wisdom is taught ( by BOTH the mother and the father). If you read it the way the author intended, it is much more freeing… instead of setting up for ourselves an impossible list of attributes no one person can have.
But… Your points are valid, still.
Thanks.
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Wow! Thank you so much for sharing your heart, so many people need to hear this. When you marry – you marry a man. Only God can enable you to make that work. Marriage is the hardest work and this was an incredible testimony to the beauty that only happens through God.
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Excellent post! The patriarchy of the church is truly disheartening; and definitely based upon construction and not that of the Bible. Your message is absolutely crucial for many, many women today (and men can benefit from this as well).
I have an incredible amount of respect for you and the message you are boldly proclaiming!
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The most liberating time in a godly woman’s life is when she learns to live her life for Christ and not others. Her focus is vertical not horizontal. She practices the presence of God and follows Him letting everything else fall away…. even if it’s friends and family. That’s a godly woman to me.
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This made me cry. I am 20 and in college and desperately seeking these answers. Your article is what I have come to believe as truth in my life this semester and it is so encouraging to see women putting these thoughts and feelings on paper. It breaks my heart when women get caught up on bashing others and miss the heart of the message. Stay strong sister and keep lighting the way to truth!
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damn verb ˈdam
—used to show that you are angry or annoyed at a person, thing, or situation
—used to say in a forceful way that you do not care about something
: to send (someone) to hell as punishment after death
I think #2 applies. A word fitly spoken. I may presume in saying this, but it seems her intention is not to send the crockpot to hell.
Many of us use “bad words” that don’t belong in the four letter group. We use them to cut down a person, to criticize our spouses, our children, the lady in the super market, other women in ministry, teachers, pastors, etc. Any word used properly in context, and for the right purpose is a word fitly spoken. Any word used to create abuse, or curse God can fall into the “bad word” category. So let’s not limit ourselves ladies.
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I thought what Krista had to say today is good. This is the insight that the Lord gave her to Proverbs 31 for her understanding. Some of you may not agree with her words or thoughts or the Bible thing but that is ok. Pray and ask the Lord to give you an understanding to Proverbs 31. We all see things different and that is what makes the world go around.
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