I realize that this post may offend certain people: Good people, people who I’d probably really get along with otherwise…
But for the record, I am not sorry.
Last week’s post Worthy of Rubies was me, buttoned up in my ‘Sunday’s best’ and smiling pretty. But over the last couple of days a fire has come over me and I can’t keep silent.
You see, I hate when women stand before other women and use their platform to hide behind facades of ideal marriages, perfect specimens of children and strong opinions on the likes of breastfeeding, vaccines, and church politics…
I cringe when the Kim Kardashian’s of the world pose half-naked in an attempt to prove that they’re still sexy, when any ‘real mom’ feels like anything but! When friends on Facebook post statuses like “ …Made 6 loaves of banana bread, ran 12.8 miles, fed the homeless, and saved a cat, and was still able to get home in time to make homemade apricot pork loin and apple crisp for dinner tonight,” while the rest of us are left wondering how we even made it out of our pajamas today?!?
I don’t know when being sexy and domestically superior made us more of a woman, but let me challenge you with what I believe is the #1 misconception of a godly woman…
Years ago, I took a class in bible college that still to this day gets my blood boiling. It was a class called Christian Womanhood.
Three times a week hundreds of college freshman ladies piled into the auditorium, and who if they were anything like me, anticipated by the name of the class ‘Christian Womanhood’ that we would come to understand what it truly meant to become the godly woman the Lord desires for us to be.
Most of the girls attending the class would one day go on to become pastor wives, missionaries, and christian school teachers. Women who would have the potential to impact other women, communities and the World in POWERFUL ways!
And yet, THIS is what we learned…
– How to execute a wedding. Complete with rehearsing a mock wedding in which each of my peers played a ‘part.’ I however, sat in the audience (on the groom’s side if you want to be specific) uninterested, and unapologetic …I mean, seriously?
– The importance of making dinner for our families each night, and pointed out the convenience of using a crock pot. …Yep, it happened.
– Why we must only read the King James Version of the Bible. But I have no notes on that lesson, because unashamedly, I tuned that one out!
It was also in this class that we did an in-depth study of Proverbs 31 in the Bible. Which wasn’t bad per se, but due to all of the above (and the fact that I actually paid for this nonsense of a class!) I don’t think it would surprise anyone to know that still to this day, I have a physical aversion to any of the topics covered in that class, including the beloved Proverbs 31 woman!
Interestingly enough though, my husband came to me last week and asked me to write a devotion for our church on you guessed it – Proverbs 31! And in all honesty I fought it HARD, as if to completely downplay the significance of it in the Bible.
And yet as I pored over the chapter myself, I realized something I had never seen before, something I can assure you was NEVER taught in my class all those years ago:
Who can find a capable wife?… She is energetic and STRONG… She has NO FEAR of winter… She is clothed with STRENGTH…
Proverbs 31:10, 17, 21, 25
The Proverbs 31 woman is a lot of things- domestic and lovely, successful and well-respected, But most repeated, she is STRONG! Not anything like the passive and weak woman we are so often encouraged to be! She has no fear of winter – the difficult times to come – and is most definitely not limited to planning weddings and using crock pots!
It got me thinking go the times I have had to be strong…
When 2 years into my marriage, when we should have been comparing paint swatches for the living room and eating breakfast in bed (or whatever it is that newlyweds do!) but instead we were battling it out in screaming matches and trying to decided what we would do with the house in the event of a divorce.
…When The Lord asked me to forgive my husband, and when even more clearly, I begged God kicking and screaming to let me move on, to give me permission to break ties with the man I was petrified would hurt me once again! But how the Lord never wavered.
How I was furious and shaken, but STRONG enough to choose to please the Lord above all else and embark on a journey to learn to love my husband again. And for the record, I am so incredibly glad I did!
How years later, we faced an unimaginable tragedy in our church while my husband was away at summer camp. How I wanted nothing more then for my husband to walk through the door, so I could immerse myself into the comfort of his arms, allowing myself to freely fall into a heap of tears with the one person who shared my mutual heartache. And how it never happened…
Because upon returning home, my husband made only one request: we not cry. How instead, he wanted to watch the news footage covering the accident over… and… over… and lay on floor and listen to worship music until late into the night. How he needed me there, and how more than anything he needed me to be STRONG!
How impossible it felt (how impossible it would’ve been apart from the Lord!) but how I sought hard to find my strength in Christ, relying on Him wholeheartedly for my comfort so that I could be strong for my husband, so that in return, he could be strong for so many others as their Pastor!
Oh, how my soul longed in those moments, for a woman to have opened up and spoken to me as a college freshman about THAT! To have a woman stand before me, vulnerable about her overwhelming fears and unworthiness, but of God’s immeasurable strength available to us in spite of it!
And so if I could teach a class on christian womanhood, and if all of you reading were my exceptionally lovely students, I would tell you that the most breathtaking picture of a ‘christian woman’ is not merely a sweet, modest, well-spoken, domestic goddess – but the woman whose strength and unshakeable faith lifts up all those around her despite the circumstance or ‘winter’ she has found herself in. (Prov. 31:21)
I’d tell you that no matter how beautiful of a bride you make, that one day your marriage may feel hopeless. And to remember when that day comes, it’s not a direct reflection of the INADEQUACY of you, but the potential GREATNESS of God if we allow Him to restore the broken pieces left of our hearts, and our vows.
That one day, the strong men we marry may need OUR strength to literally and physically pick them up off the floor, and that it won’t be a damn crock pot that will save the day, but the fire deep within us to FIGHT for our marriages and for our husbands to be the godly men that the Lord desires them to be!
Because the truth is, EVERYONE can let us down. But by choosing to find our strength in Christ, there is NOTHING God can’t grant us, and NOTHING He can not restore!
We need only to turn to Him, for He is the only one capable of giving life to our broken hearts and the strength we need to keep holding on.
And it would be as simple as that.
Class is dismissed.
Krista Ortiz 
I think everyone reading this article needs to focus on the fact that the point is in the end strength comes from endurance and prayer. Being the perfect wife, mother, friend from the outside is not what God wants from us but to acquire the heart of a warrior which comes from faith, love and righteousness. Remember, there are many forms of abuse. I may have missed a reference to physical abuse in the article? Expecting a human being, whether male or female to bow to your expectations no matter what they are feeling is wrong. Expecting your spouse to respect your Christianity and the where you are on the path to salvation should be a given as long as you are together in fighting the good fight. Praying for one another, no matter what happens, no matter what offences, no matter what the outcome of a marriage is the path to salvation. If you are among the lucky your marriage will endure and be stronger. If not you still pray for one another and forgive.
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Wow… thank you…
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Wonderful!!! Thank you!
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Krista, such great words that I want do desperately to believe. How do you apply it after 10 yrs married to an undiagnosed and unmedicated bipolar with a borderline personality, narcissism and pathological liar. Blend in a healthy dose of sexual sin and personality issues that are about to get him fired. How do you believe God cares and can restore that???!!! And yet I have a beautiful little girl to protect and divorce would expose her to him unfiltered through mommy… Who she wants to live with and has made that clear but neither of us trusts him to keep a promise of custody that would be best for HER because he’s never lived up to ONE promise he has made… How do you give hope in THAT?!!?!
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Tracie, I can relate to what you are saying. In my case it is a daughter we adopted as a baby. Mental illness defies logic because it is not logical. Continue to pray that he will come to the point that he will want counseling, and will get the right counseling, diagnosis, and medication. No other way will work. Also pray for the wisdom of that future counselor. You know how easily one with this type of mental illness can convince someone there is another problem…. No matter what keep your faith in God. Your relationship with the Lord is between you and the Lord, not you and dependent on what your spouse does that shades your relationship with Jesus. If divorce is decided as best, pray that God will keep his arms around your little girl, and possibly use her to open his eyes. At one point our daughter was keeping the grandchildren from us. That was my prayer, and something happened that our oldest at that time (4) was used by God for her to see some error of her way. I hope this is helpful. There is no magic answer. There is so much pain and heartache with mental illness. It is painful for him also, although he will not admit to it. Even though I don’t know you, I feel your pain. It is hard for most people to understand what it is really like. May you feel the Lord’s peace and comfort.
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Tracie, I was married for 27 years to a man who was bipolar. I understand everything you said in your post, as I went through it also. God was faithful to help me in all of the difficulties I had to deal with, and there is where your hope is. He will lead you if you let him; he knows what you are feeling and going through. Whether your husband is healed or not, or gets help or doesn’t, God is faithful and will help you find a way through it and bring you to a place of healing also. It was very, very difficult at times, but God brought me through all of it. He will do that for you, too.
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Tracie, My heart aches for your burden, but already, you have shown yourself to be a strong and wise women. The one dream you hold on to is the hope for your daughter’s future. Keep holding on to that dream. We all can make decisions which lead to “winters”, but ultimately, God’s plan is better and He has perfect timing. Pray for God to show himself to you. Pray to see the beauty of who He is, for his guidance, for wisdom and understanding. I can not tell you what God’s answer is for your current situation, but I have unfathomable faith that He is going to guide you and bless you. His creation was/is to demonstrate His glory and designed for us to enjoy…and we in return are to honor Him in all that we do. Do that. Honor God. Ask for His protection, His strength… Ask Him where to go from where you are, and HOW to get there. Trust that He hears your prayers. I will also be praying for God’s provision for you!
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Please send me a message – I have some thoughts to share that you will hopefully find encouraging.
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the above intended for Deb – sorry – inexperienced blogger
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Tracie, God cares about everything we care about. Your words could be describing my dad, as I have researched his “behaviors” and bpd and narcissism kept coming up. He was also physically abusive, and we all walked on egg shells. He is also obsessive, and stalks people. Before my mother passed away we had a conversation about her bringing me into a situation like this, and she apologized to me, as she came to see I had no say in my situation, it was her choice to raise me in that circumstance. I forgave her, and I know she stayed thinking it was better for me to have him in my life. I disagree. I wonder what it would have been like to know my mother, not the shell she was from having to deal with him. I wonder how I would be if I didn’t have to always fight to prove my value in this world to my own father. Please take your situation to God in prayer, and listen, truly listen to the guidance. It took me two years of therapy, and two years of cutting him out of my life to be able to get to a point of forgiveness. I recommend the book Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud. It will help you stay strong against the manipulation BPD people use. I pray for you and your child, and I ask you to stay strong in God’s word. I had to learn that honoring my father sometimes meant not being able to talk to him, and that is hard lesson for a daughter, but it was the reality. We now have a basic relationship, for which I am thankful.
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Tracy,
I want so much too share with you my experience. I understand right where you are. My story doesn’t end with a happy parting and I am sure there are some ‘godly women’ who will have *something* to say about it…But, you need to know!
I was married, to a pastor, I was that perfect Christian preachers wife. The one that is idealized and looked up to. I was young (still am actually) and I wanted desperately to please God and my husband. Soon after our marriage I found that he believed in multiple wives. Since we were Nazarene that wasn’t allowed. But, it pleased him. –Even moved one into my home (just someone we were helping out, ya know) I suffered through. Eventually, I had an emotional breakdown and lost a pregnancy. She was sent away. He started looking for homeless people to ‘help’ on the streets of Reno (a cover). Really he had found the underground BDSM throughout town. Things had been bad, submission was key, but then turned really bad….
No need to go into that, but, it was …bad. Soon I was going with him. If I didn’t it was worse. No one knew. He was a “wonderful man” a “wonderful pastor”, “especially great with the youth”…. He became board with me. So we took on a new “boarder”…she was bad news (literally) he was going to help her recover from her drug addiction, he told everyone. Another cover. She left on her own accord, SHE left HIM. He was so very angry. His attentions turned towards the children. The youth group at first. Young girls he “married online”, seduced, and then raped. I was no longer welcomed in our marital bed, and quite frankly I was glad. I didn’t realize until years later that it was because of the girls at church and I feel terrible. I always will. Always. He is running now. Has been for years. I have no idea where he is. I have changed my name, the children’s name and ran myself. Jennifer is not even the name I use in real life. But, you see that is the depth of fear this maniac has instilled in me (10 years later).
If he finds us, he will kill us. At some point sweety, there will be no one for you to scream to. Some will say “God doesn’t give you too much to handle”…..or “With God all things are possible” to them I say “Sure! Bullfrogs and Fairytales!”
Tracy, I implore you: GET OUT! Take your daughter and GO! God gave you a brain and you are strong to have survived this long. God does not want this for you. This is a man’s creation, not His. There is hope. I see in your words that you are trying desperately to hold onto the world of reality. — A cry for help. No one believed me either. They really thought I was crazy. My parents, HA , my grandma told me to “endure”! You do not have to do this. No where in the Bible does it say you have to stay with this evil man! If you need help out, message me!
*for those women out there who would dare to stand in judgment of me or THIS WOMAN, God commands you NOT to. That’s all.
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Jennifer, YOU are right…that is a misconception of the scripture…it does NOT say HE won’t put MORE on us than we can bear….it DOES say (my translation) WITH the TOO MUCH TO BEAR……HE will MAKE A WAY OF ESCAPE!!….PRAY to SEE the WAY OF ESCAPE…
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That’s what I want to know!
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I agree with you, John. I also believe that those things mentioned in the Christian Womanhood class are valuable. At the same time it would be valuable to also teach about the winter storms.
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Can we please be friends? That was the most encouraging message I’ve read in the longest time. Thank you!
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consider it done! 🙂
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Great article and I’d like to add one more thing. “Capable” is not even a close translation of “chayil.” Every other time it is used in Scripture it has the connotation of might, power, wealth, armies and great resources. it should say, “the powerful woman” or “strong woman” not “capable” or “excellent” or “virtuous.” So, you are right. We are and should not hesitate to be powerful in our Lord and make an impact in our world for Him.
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I love that! Thank you! I know that over-all we can rely on the good old King James and some other English translations, but I love it when someone who knows Hebrew or Greek can point out a more accurate translation like that. I am not one of those people, so I’m really thankful for those who can and do! Now, to read Proverbs 31 with a whole new perspective! I thought it was daunting before, but now even more so, and obviously I will only have that strength and power by the Holy Spirit working through me…
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oh wow. Praise God for this blog. Tears are streaming down my face. I’m right smack dab in the middle of what I’m believing to be the start of restoration in my marriage. It feels so bleak, and hopeless. Thank you for your words of encouragement. It was what I needed to hear. I was a signature away from divorce this summer…now my husband is stationed in Alaska and I’m in Florida and we are trying to find a way to love each other again. The enemy wants me to believe that we can’t come back from the things that happened. I believe we can.
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You can! Keep believing. And be patient. Give the Lord time to work. 2 Chronicles 20:1-30 was of great encouragement to me in similar circumstances. Blessings!
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Praying for you right now Becca! And that God will restore your hearts and bring you both back together. Thanks for sharing your story with me!
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I saw some great potential in this post, and strong encouragement about serving The Lord. All until the cussing mixed in with needing our husbands to be godly men. When has it become okay to sin while edifying others in The Lord? Well it’s not okay, I just wanted some of your insight. Some Christians believe as long as I am a Christian that Jesus will be happy and okay with anything I do. Not true. Sin is sin and needs to be put away and for us to strive for a holy, pure life. It will be a continuous journey, as none of us are perfect.
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Please show me your evidence that “cussing” is a sin. Literally, back it up with scripture. Don’t give me “corrupt communication” either. PEOPLE made these words wrong, not Jesus. Just like “Godly Christians” made alcohol wrong, again not Jesus. I’ve grown so tired of followers of Christ with this attitude! Snap out of it. This woman was passionate in her sharing of this story and passionate stories call for passionate words. You can sense her frustration.
You saw potential in this post??? None of us are perfect??? Can you be more high and mighty?
Judge not! Plank in the eye! Come on!
Let’s get over ourselves and start loving and caring for people like Jesus did!
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Colossians 3:8
English Standard Version (ESV)8 But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth.
Ephesians 4:29 ESV
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
Matthew 15:10-11 ESV
And he called the people to him and said to them, “Hear and understand: it is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth; this defiles a person.”
James 3:10 ESV
From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so.
Matthew 12:36-37 ESV
I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”
Ephesians 5:4 ESV
Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving.
James 3:6-8 ESV
And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.
Proverbs 6:12 ESV
A worthless person, a wicked man, goes about with crooked speech
1 Timothy 4:12 ESV
Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.
Our greatest commands from Christ are
1. Love God
2. Love people
but that doesn’t nullify the condemnation of sin. Your argument is curious tho… u desire to prove profanity is ok when even secular television is censored on account of profane or obscene content.
do u not think it odd to call Good that which the unsaved/unchurch calls bad?
“they have called bad good, and good evil.”
Let your speech be seasoned; salty… aka causing others to thirst for salvation. Profanity doesn’t do that. if u wouldn’t say it from a pulpit or in front of children, how then do u justify that Jesus would have? Or that looking more like the world is in any way keeping with Paul’s admonition to not conform to the ways of this world?
Your passion is good… ur wisdom is lacking.
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Damnation is a word found at least 11 times in New Testament (KJV, which is what they were being encouraged to use), and sometimes it was Jesus speaking. Learning the convenience of using a crockpot did not enhance my marriage one bit. But, oh, how I wish someone would have taught me how to be a Godly woman. How different my life would have been and that of my husband and children. So in comparison of the two, yes, I agree with her frustrated assessment of the crock pot when we all need so much more. Esau settled for a bowl of soup, and see where that got him. Just my thoughts.
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talking about damnation and saying it (My thought would be ‘in vain’) are two vary different things, I don’t think you can truthfully tell yourself that God thinks its ok to sit and say ‘Damn’ all the time, I have caught myself saying it and had to apologize to him for saying it out loud. I would also like a few peoples definition on ‘corrupt communication’ there was a reason it was put in the bible and I think we are missing it. Loved her post though.
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People have corrupted God’s words. Example: An ass is a donkey. What have we taught our children that an ass was? We corrupted it. The Bible was translated to the English language from Hebrew. The Hebrew meaning of a word is not always the same as the English meaning. Even the word curse, if you look it up in the Hebrew dictionary says nothing about the words we call (curse words). God tells us plainly what sin is to Him in His Word. Most people believe it to be cursing or “cussing” because it was told that that was what they were doing when they spoke such words. It has been handed down from one generation to the next. I am not condemning you because you may not have been aware if this. We can all learn from one another. What I notice about a lot of Christians these days is that they are to “holy” in their own eyes. They condemn Eve for eating a single fruit. Well, what have we done? I am sure most of us have done a little more questionable things than eating a piece of fruit. I am sure that when those people condemning Eve meet her, she will simply say “Why didn’t you learn from my mistake.” This blog is the thoughts, feelings and beliefs of another person. She walks her own walk with God. If you believe that she is wrong in her wording, pray for her. I am sure we could ALL use a little prayer!
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Judge much?
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I would have to humbly disagree Emily. We DO need our husbands to be godly men, as God commands them to be (Eph. 5). We cannot have a healthy, godly marriage without that ingredient and I would be dumbfounded if you could find scripture to back up your assumption that we do not need godly husbands. As for the cursing, I have always been told to chew the meat, spit out the bones. Damn must be a bone for you so just spit it out and let the protein of the rest of the blog strengthen your walk as it was meant to do.
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I really enjoyed reading your article, but was very disappointed and confused to see a curse word at the end. I’m afraid it took away some of your Christian credibility for me. God has blessed you with this amazing platform and hope you will consider your wording more carefully in the future.
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ANOTHER ONE?!?
Please see reply above.
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I can’t leave it at that…
Christian credibility? Are you kidding me? This woman is less of a Christian to you now? You think she loves God less? You think God loves her less?
Seriously! Please! Think about what you’re saying and then think about who Jesus really and truly was! I’d hate to see how you would treat the woman at the well or the woman that anointed Jesus’ feet with perfume.
Wake up followers of Christ! LOVE PEOPLE!
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Truth!
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well said!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Nick P the comment was christian credibility although it does not mean she is not a christian because of the cuss word she used we need to be careful about the things we say because it can and will effect others. As for drinking proverbs 20 states wine is a mocker and strong drink is raging. As Christians we need to be careful about our conversations and conduct because when others are watching and listening we can be people of influence. A few months ago I was attending a church service and after church every Sunday we would have a pot luck supper. One particular Sunday a member was sitting down at the table celebrating her birthday. She was drinking from a bottle and someone asked her what she was drinking and she boldly and proudly stated a beer. I was shocked because although I don’t judge people for what they do in the privacy of their home to bring a beer and drink it at church in front of children and others was offensive to me personally. The reason being is if a baby christian who just got saved was present what kind of message was she giving? we should never do anything that could cause someone to fall or stumble.
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Stacey – what kind of a message IS she sending to “baby christians”? That drinking, in moderation, isn’t something to be ashamed of and hidden in your “own home”? Thats what I’m getting from her actions. Also, do you know ANYONE who would be caused to stumble because someone else drank a beer? I sure dont, nor would it have caused me to stumble when I was a ‘baby christian”.
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Nick, I understand that frustration, it is hard to believe that with all the wisdom and calling to greatness of women in this post, one word completely consumed a few people. I would simply respond to your frustrations with 1 Corinthians 8:4-13. Read it in the NIV and then the Message. It’s tough when you have a sense of freedom but feel restricted because of someone else’s conscience. But, it’s good to remember that the freedom we have is for building up the body of Christ. That’s tough for me, it’s so nice to be selfish! Still, I hope you have some person/people in your life that you can express that freedom around 🙂
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Agree, Leigh Anne.
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And your comment is exactly why people are turned off from Christianity, not bc someone chose to cuss or have a beer (referring to your second post). I would much rather someone be REAL then act all Godly and then do things behind closed doors when others aren’t watching. Who gives a crap if she used a cussed word. You chose to focus on that one thing instead of the overall message. When I got to that part where she heaven forbid, cursed, it fired me up. I said “Preach Girl!”. Now YOU are “less credible” to me. So go judge someone else and bake a cake or something and read the bible. #cantstandchristianswhojudge
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Your wrong. People are turned off from Christianity because they are looking for a reason to justify their actions.When you become a christian and you have a revelation of who God truly is and what he has done for you you want to live right. not because of what another christian says to you but because of the sacrifice of Jesus. I am a Christian and I have tried to treat people with the love of God and anyone who knows me will testify to that. I have tried to be an example because I know I am a person of influence and what I say and do can effect others. Just like children will follow the examples of a parent. it’s the same with Christianity. baby Christians are looking for examples to follow.I am very cautious about What I say and do. Do I make mistakes? of course I do but when I am made aware of my mistakes I repent and change directions. That’s called maturity.what a person does in the privacy of their own home is their business they will have to answer to God for it. However the fact that she was in church drinking a beer was the issue. People are always trying to justify their actions by saying don’t judge me. I’m not judging anyone. There is a time and place for everything. There is a certain respect we should have for the house of God. Would you smoke and have sex in church or should I say the house of worship. Some people feel so free they think they should do it all in church and find nothing wrong with it. What would Jesus do?.When the woman was caught in the act of adultery Jesus said to the woman go and sin no more. He didn’t say be free to be who you want to be. Having an encounter with Jesus and his love gives you a desire to be pleasing to Him not to your self and your fleshly desires.
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BeREAL: You said it! I am new to this blog, and probably won’t be coming back again as I see so much prissy, self-righteous “Christians” here. I grew up with this sort of CRAP about being someone’s “stumbling block” for some action that I might take that usually had to do with drinking, smoking, or cursing. But, guess what, I think the self-righteousness, judgmental, holier-than-thou is more of stumbling block than anything else. I am turned way off to this kind of christianity.
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Using the word “damn” us not cursing. It is an intensifier, an adjective; it does not curse anyone. Jesus used strong language:
Matthew 23:33 KJV
Ye serpents, ye generation of vipers, how can ye escape the damnation of hell?
Not very NICE, I’m sure you will agree. Ye those words expressed his feelings.
Here is another example of a word that you might fond distasteful, yet it is found in God’s word: ( KJV, even)…
2 Kings 18:27 KJV
But Rabshakeh said unto them, Hath my master sent me to thy master, and to thee, to speak these words? hath he not sent me to the men which sit on the wall, that they may eat their own dung , and drink their own piss with you?
Read 2 Kings 18 | View in parallel | Compare Translations| Interlinear view
Isaiah 36:12 KJV
But Rabshakeh said , Hath my master sent me to thy master and to thee to speak these words? hath he not sent me to the men that sit upon the wall, that they may eat their own dung , and drink their own piss with you?
None of the above examples violate the standard laid out here:
Ephesians 5:4 ESV
Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving.
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Leigh Ann, You are disappointed and confused bc your post has judgement and condemnation for this woman. You have a chance to be delivered and set free by showing this woman the love of Christ instead of judgement of her language.
I’m a christian bc I know I fall short of the glory of god. Don’t the rest of us fall short? Let’s get the planks out of our own eyes first please!!
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Its folks like you with your Bible thumping attitudes that turn people away from Christianity…. Just love one another…its that simple. We all screw up. Yes, I said “screw”, and guess what God still loves me as much as he loves you. God is the only one who knows our true hearts and that is what matters. A fabulous, faith building post and you choose to condemn it because she used the word damn?? Really?? C’mon now!!!
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Amazing! I have chills. I have felt the Facebook envy of these “Super Woman” wives and mothers. I have been left feeling inadequate and weak. I needed to hear this as a reminder that I have strength and the are night I have comes from God. My husband and I have overcome so many obstacles designed to tear families apart at the roots. Praise God for our strength. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
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This is real and this is what women need to hear! How I wished I had heard this in the middle of my “winter”. God is always faithful. He is a God of restoration and can restore even the most dysfunctional, desperate marriage. As women we are called to love God with our whole hearts, cast our cares on him and then allow him to work! Thank you for your truth!!
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This was a wonderful and timely message for me to read. However, I wish you wouldn’t have cluttered the end with the word “damn”. The whole thing was beautiful and meaningful and uplifting for me, but I felt like the use of a word that our culture has deemed “cursing” kind of caused a spiritual clashing for me; I’m not sure how to explain it, I can sense your frustration and I can relate, but I would have been able to sense that same frustration and anger without the word “damn”. I am very thankful for this though. You are a gifted woman of God who has the ability to reach many through your words;
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Let’s just focus on what you like. Be encouraging and leave out any criticism!!
Planks n splinters!!!
Seriously – her heart is where it is at – ya think God hasn’t coped with hearing swear words before??? (and I don’t see ‘damm’ as a rude word)
Let’s stop trying to perfect and be REAL GENUINE women who aren’t perfect – that’s how we should be 😉
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Why be a Christian woman when the Bible is so obviously and heiniosly misogynistic? Here’s a couple of the worst ones, but there are dozens of examples.
Deuteronomy 22:13-21 NIV
If a man takes a wife and, after sleeping with her, dislikes her and slanders her and gives her a bad name, saying, “I married this woman, but when I approached her, I did not find proof of her virginity,” then the young woman’s father and mother shall bring to the town elders at the gate proof that she was a virgin. Her father will say to the elders, “I gave my daughter in marriage to this man, but he dislikes her. Now he has slandered her and said, ‘I did not find your daughter to be a virgin.’ But here is the proof of my daughter’s virginity.” Then her parents shall display the cloth before the elders of the town, and the elders shall take the man and punish him. They shall fine him a hundred shekels of silver and give them to the young woman’s father, because this man has given an Israelite virgin a bad name. She shall continue to be his wife; he must not divorce her as long as he lives. If, however, the charge is true and no proof of the young woman’s virginity can be found, she shall be brought to the door of her father’s house and there the men of her town shall stone her to death. She has done an outrageous thing in Israel by being promiscuous while still in her father’s house. You must purge the evil from among you.
1 Corinthians 14:34-35 NIV
Women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the law says. If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church.
Deuteronomy 22:28-29 NIV
If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and rapes her and they are discovered, he shall pay her father fifty shekels of silver. He must marry the young woman, for he has violated her. He can never divorce her as long as he lives.
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What version of the bible is this? This is seriously disturbing to read. I’m so thankful for my religion and my scriptures. I would never be a part of a religion who taught things like this.
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NIV. Right there in the citation. Read your version. Maybe they swapped out the word slave for the word servant. That makes it totally different…
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I have a KJV and that is what it says, I don’t really understand C A palmer’s comment
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Cyrus, authority exists for society to exixt. The Bible has true epistemic authority because God authorizes it. Should you reject that authority you stare in the black uncaring eyes of humaism and then have to explain all the corpses from that litter history since the tower of Babel. Your arguments are totally irrelevant to the strong Christian woman who knows where her identity is found and the authority structure that God has ordained. Unfortunately, FB is an idol factory and many forgot that the road to Zion is our trail of tears. Jesus suffered and then was glorified. Suffering is the normal Christian life, unto glory. Repent of your idolotry of comparing yourselves by yourselves you are not wise. Regarding the humanist, enjoy the bus ride into the ditch and then the eternal fires of hell.
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You think you can scare me with hell? It’s better to believe for fear of the consequences of being wrong? Pascals wager? That’s the dumbest argument ever. What if you’re wrong and your lack of faith offended Zeus? You had better sacrifice a cow to him, just in case.
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Hey Cyrus, humanist moron, nobody is arguing Pascal’s wager, dolt. I’m looking at how your pathetic worldview wins the bodycount game hands down when you reject the authority of the Bible you’re left the fickled authority of wicked despotic tyrants who have no problem killing people like you, cause they love absolute power.These anti-Christian political spheres refuse to acknowledge and submit to an ultimate divine authority, the Triune God. You use the above scriptures to condemn the Bible but you have no objective ethical standard that could so, just your little subjective ego-centric opinion. By what standard? Have you ever contemplated that you have no objective rational or moral standard by which to do your condemning by? Shut up and go sit in the back of your God-damned humanist bus. And yes, God damns all worldviews that refuse to bow their knee to Christ.
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Soo needed that message..I saw the passion and in site that was driven to write an encouraging, yet informative scripture based article.
I am saddened to see that people are focused on the word damn…the whole article and THAT is what your going to walk away with? Do you think that we as Christians are above the sinners? People get over it…Jesus hung out with the sinners….his logic…see how I live…want to be like me….do you think non-Christians want to be like you? Live life with the attitude…I see Jesus in you…when Jesus threw the gamblers out of the tabernacle…HIS fathers house…I am sure there were words said…look into the heart of this woman….she wrote this letter for you…and Cyrus…Clyde …whoever….what?…what! .wait…..what??!!
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I hate it when I read something that’s a fairly decently thought-out argument, and the author loses all credibility simply by not proofreading. “Which wasn’t bad per say,” and “bible.” Bible is a proper noun and must be capitalized. Per se is Latin. When you write like this, you show yourself to be sloppy and imprecise, and then I’ll probably conclude your thinking is sloppy and imprecise, and I’ll discard your argument.
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Wow Pastor Bob. This comment is pretty high and mighty of you. It is pretty ironic that your title begins with “Pastor,” since your comment indicates behavior that is the exact opposite of how a pastor should communicate and behave. Very unloving and uncharacteristic of Jesus.
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Planks and splinters Bob. Loving kindness!!! please apply liberally to ALL around you EVERYDAY and go flush your critical attitude.
ALAINE – yes!
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I like to think of it more like camels and needles
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Word!
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@Pastor Bob So if God attempted to speak to you through someone else that misspelled words, didn’t use proper grammar, or otherwise faieled to meet your criteria that qualifies them to have an opinion you would dismiss them? Thats a very judgemental approach one that goes against the teachings of Jesus. Are you not at all concerned that you might be missing God voice? After all he uses imperfect people to deliver his message..
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A little harshly worded, but I agree.
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Pastor Bob –
What credibility did Krista lose? Her proof reading credibility? Her English credibility?
I fail to understand how an idea and an experience can lose credibility due to basic spelling or grammatical errors.
I can however see how a pastor loses credibility in shaming and deriding another.
When you write like this you show yourself to be judgemental, harsh and patronising. I will then probably conclude your thinking is narrow, exclusive and arrogant.
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Oh-oh, Pastor Bob. You neglected to catch a few other minor “problems” in the essay … which only goes to show that no one has perfect discernment in these matters, right? Having been an editor for almost four decades, I feel safe in positing that editing and proofreading are part skills, which can be taught, and part innate gift. Being a gifted writer is a totally different set of abilities, so let’s be a bit more charitable. BTW, if we feel driven to communicate such matters, doing it privately might be more charitable.
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God uses the foolish things of this world to shame the wise.
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Suffer the little children to come unto me and forbid them not for such is the kingdom of heaven. Do children always use proper grammer and spelling? But our Lord still not only listened to them but respected them. To dismiss such an amazing piece based on grammer is truly sad. Sometimes it doesn’t take the most scholarly to deliver the best messages! If we can stop picking others apart we could work together and truly become God’s church.
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@PaStOr bOb….I bet u proofread your post a million times before posting it! Lol … you wouldn’t dare be caught with an error! Folks with your frame of mind give me a good laugh! Thanks pastor … and God bless you
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I see Pastor Bob that you are making a POINT…by “supposedly” criticizing Krista’s wording and her spelling —you opened an avalanche of criticisms by your critiquing of her writing and thereby have poked fun at the criticizers of Krista’s “bad sinful word”….clever Pastor Bob..I don’t think many caught on to your irony..but it was VERY CLEVER…LOL…
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Thank you! I needed this encouragement today. Bless you!
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Krista,
So well said and exactly what I desire in a christian wife.. Old thinking and literal interpretations of scripture have led to the misconception that a Godly wife is one of submissive servitude. This ideal dismisses the fact that a Godly relationship is one of seflessness, putting your partners’ needs and feelings above your own.. More women need to know they can be strong, fierce, warriors for God and still be a great and lovong wife.
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I loved what you wrote. Every word. keep the ‘damms’ in if you want to. Keeping it real is awesome!!
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I never leave comments or subscribe to blogs, but I can’t help it on this one! The comments just prove why so many of us are thankful for you! Keep it up PLEASE! I promise you have more supporters than crockpot critics!!!
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Thank you Kasie, you are so sweet
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Hi All, in the midst of all our thoughts and worldly wisdom we somehow find the imperfections of our sinful natures that very often but not all the time is confrontational or even foolish. Life has taught me one thing and one thing only, the order too happiness is me and GOD, me and my Wife, me and my KIDS, me and the CHURCH and finally me and the WORLD. The reason for “me” written in lower case letters means that I need to lift up those around me and in so doing experience my final and finest hour being with the LORD. I have been married for 15 Years and have 2 wonderful Kids. What I realized on after my Kids we born is how much my parents LOVED me but prior to this it may have only been words from my perspective. LOVE is expressed best when we are serving others period and when we only serve our best interest then LOVE breaks down. Biblical knowledge is just that, knowledge but applied biblical knowledge results in wisdom. The difficulties we experience along life’s path is set there to strengthen our spirits so that we may offer encouragement to others but more so to be hope in a hopeless situation. I think that all the above views are valid from the writers perspective but it is life changing when we connect and relate as readers to the writers heart on the matter rather than the actual words used as we are not all able to perfectly articulate what the spirit of a person is longing to say while living in an imperfect shell. Love you all and as a Father I would like to commend all Wives, Mothers, Friends, Sisters and Women who LOVE unconditionally and Trust GOD enough for the strength to fight for the life partner that GOD has united you with irrespective of how weak and fallible your GODLY Man my be at this present hour, for surely as the season change so will your circumstance. Trust in the CREATOR to intervene, PRAY for strength and EXPERIENCE the GRACE of GOD like never before. GOD BLESS!!!
Ed….
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All this downing her article because of the word “damn” is just absolutely unbelievable to me. It was a good article, written from her heart. Words have as much power as you give them. I bet no one would be complaining had she said “darn” instead… And why? What is the difference? Oh right… I believe it’s called culture and family upbringing. Yes, the Bible is clear about not cursing (which refers to actually cursing someone, not cursing AT someone) and about allowing to come out of your mouth those words that would edify others.
Here is the well-known example of Paul using what many of you would today consider a cuss word:
Paul uses the term “scum” (Greek perikatharma) and “refuse” (Greek peripsema). In the original Greek, these words were fairly profane. Craig Blomberg writes, “The words translated here as ‘scum’ and ‘refuse’ are fairly vulgar in the original Greek; their closest English equivalents would offend so many people that modern translations use euphemistic language like this instead!”[1]
One thing to notice here is the fact that Paul directs this word toward himself—not others. He is saying, “We are the scum,” rather than, “You are the scum.” In other words, Paul isn’t cussing someone out. Instead, he is sarcastically explaining how the apostles lead simple lives—unlike the leaders in Corinth. However, regarding foul language in general, the Bible doesn’t seem to be bashful using it.
The point of using that example wasn’t to say that cussing is great or alright. But it was to point out that if the Bible is a guide, a story, a history, and the truth by which we gain inspiration and our guidance in life… and IT employs the use of foul words, sex, nudity, grotesque actions in war, and many other things… then how can any of you deride Krista for using one minor word in her entire article–an article which was also meant to inform, inspire and help encourage. She didn’t curse any of you. Her heart wasn’t to be vulgar, rude or to offend. Obviously one cannot expect to please everyone though, and if you choose to focus on this as being some sort of shortcoming, then that is unfortunate for you and only you.
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Thank you!
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RMN, very well said! Your culture and upbringing remarks caused me to remember a well known international minister that went to England to minister..He was speaking to a Large audience of people and Used the phrase ” THAT BLOODY THING” well he soon found out that the word BLOODY is an offensive word to them (it’s just like cussing to us here in America)…cause after he spoke the word the whole congregation got up and left..it took the Pastor and other leaders of their church quite some doing to get them to come back and listen to him…needless to say.he had NO IDEA that he had said a bad word…cause of course bloody is NOT an cuss word to us…I personally was raised (not in a christian home) to NOT say the word Fart or Bitch these were BAD words like cussing…yet we COULD say the words butt-hole, gee whiz, darn, heck, golly, gosh, golly dickens, or gosh dickens…yet I moved to another State where these WORDS were NOT ALLOWED they were sinful speaking yet FART and BITCH were words the Church people could say!!…I was shocked! I guess it all goes to show one that Words are just that…WORDS..just like FOODS in the bible could be offensive depending on WHOM they were offered to before they were eaten …if one knew where they had been etc…before they ate them then for conscience sake of another Paul refrained from eating them at the time…lest he offend someone that saw him eating it……it was also taught them to EAT what was set before them asking NO Questions…I have been in foreign lands where this is what YOU BETTER DO or you might STARVE! Also in America one can turn down an invite to eat with someone….but in some countries it is considered VERY VERY OFFENSIVE to turn down an invite to EAT with someone…Here we just take a rain check or give a rain check… easily…but it’s another CULTURE THING just like WORDS…So why do we —as the bible says STRAIN at GNAT and gag at a CAMEL over WORDS ? (or is that vise-verse? ) I find most Church people are SO judgmental and have such a RELIGIOUS spirit that We stand on the banks and BEAT to DEATH the fish that are being caught before anyone (meaning JESUS) can have a chance at Cleaning them…. I’m just saying…???
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WOW!! Thank you! What a great read and encouragement! Amen and Amen!
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I am a physician and have chosen to work only one day a week so that I can stay home and care for my family. I do NOT homeschool and I have a strong-willed bent myself. I would say however that I was not well prepared to be domestic. Oh I learned to cook and I had household chores but now my lack of skills in this area is hindering my ability to be the kind of woman I would like to be for my husband, my kids, and others around me. And I don’t mean that I want to cook better. I mean I wish I was better domestically so that those things that have to be done in life woldn’t consume me so much and I would then have more time to sow spiritually into my family and others. That I wouldn’t be so stressed all the time because I had no idea what we are having for dinner and it’s 4:30 and everything I can think of to make has at least one ingredient that we don’t have. And for the life of me it’s almost december and I still haven’t switched my kids over to winter clothes. While I agree domestic issues are not what make a woman godly and perhaps domestic skills should be taught in a class (or elsewhere in life) other than “Christian Womanhood” BUT they are excellent skills to have. Unless your husband is particularly domestic or you have LOTS of money to eat out all the time (I shudder to think of the health consequences of that) you will have to cook, and do laundry, and clean your home. I wish I had been taught more about these things- not for the sake of these things themselves but so that I could have more time for other things. If you’re a pasto’rs wife you probably will be called upon to help with weddings- so grabthe opportunity to learn a few skills in this area, not for yourself, but for the sake of the gospel. I hear your heart, screaming against those who equate Godliness with domestic “goddess” but, darn, I sure wish I was a better “domestician.”
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I agree with you. I grew up with a very strong mother that “did it all”. She became a nurse soon after my younger brother and I started school, she worked hard and long hours. But, she also knew how to cook homemade meals and sew. What she didn’t have time for was us kids (there are 5 of us). So, I never learned how to sew or cook from her. I was extremely uninterested in homemaking classes at school so when I got married and became a mother, I found that I really could have used some instruction! Even after 15 years I do things mostly just how I figured them out on my own or by watching Food Network! I am a stay at home mom and homeschooler so one thing I DO do is spend time with my kids. I hope it is something they remember with fondness. I have the best hubby in the world that holds me in high respect while providing for me , and he demands that my kids respect me too. This is very important when the teen and tween years begin! Tho’ I have chosen a very traditional role my hubby and I strongly disagree with many church teachings about women. I am submissive to ONE man, my husband. And he deserves it not because he is male, but because he gives his maleness to me. He gives me his strength, the work of his hands, security, faithfulness, and most of all, his respect. It is an honor to be his wife.
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Wow I am amazed at how “high and mighty” some of you have responded to this FREAKING AWESOME BLOG POST!!!! REALLY you are going to judge her based on one word and ‘damn’ is it??? In my mind if Jesus ever stubbed his two I’m sure he let out a few curse words..That is barely a swear word and when I read that part it made me fall in love even more with her words and love for Christ and set a fire in my belly to step up and encourage my husband the only way possible and that is through Christ. Seriously people BACK OFF! and to the yo-yos who wanted to complain about the drinking parts. Seriously, Jesus turned water into wine because they ran out of wine..ummmmmm think he is ok with a cocktail or two. duh we shouldn’t get drunk but a couple glasses isn’t going to send you to hell or make people think less of you and if someone does that’s their problem.. God bless you Krista. You have Gods long pouring out when you write and wisdom that could only come from Him… Thank you for sharing 🙂
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Krista,
Thank you, thank you, thank you. As a Christian who is a family therapist, I am beyond blessed and encouraged by your post. Your transparency and vulnerability are refreshing. “There are NONE righteous . . . No, not one.” For decades I have wept over the insincerity and facades behind which Christian women, AND MEN, hide – especially in the presence of their church families. Why can’t we be real with one another? NO WONDER the lost, or even baby Christians, don’t want to be associated with the church! If they have to all in line with perfection, they will never be able to live up to the standards of “church people.” When we as followers of Christ realize that our walk is not about religion, but RELATIONSHIP – both with Him and with others, maybe the scales will fall from our own eyes and we will be less frightened to allow people to know who and what we really are in our worst moments. Although my wife will certainly read this and weep, knowing she is not alone, I as a Christian man, husband, and father, take encouragement from your words because I, too, am deeply flawed in ways I will never understand, or completely overcome. And for those critical of your proof-reading or your transparency, you must be confident in your own humanity and how it corresponds with your relationship with Christ or you would not be a blogger 🙂 Shame on them. You rock the house!
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Yeah! What he said! Thank you Krista for being real, and sharing your heart.
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Well, truthfully, that would have been your parent’s job. Though I’m surprised you didn’t have a Home Economics course in high school.
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This is what I have been feeling for years having moved to the south were the woman are living with serious “Christian masks” on. So many are depressed and frustrated but are too afraid to say something out of fear of being labeled a bad Christian. My next comment is in no way a critical comment towards Krista!!
The cuss word in this article did not offend me, although the people getting angry at others for being offended by did. Why can’t we get past ourselves and stop judging others? We all have our different believes.
I choose not to cuss because some cuss words ARE offensive and because I know it offends others. I believe that is what not causing others to stumble means. But the biggest reason I believe cussing is wrong is because it is mostly used because of our lack of self-control when we are angry (not the case in this article). If you want to cuss that is your choice but why do you get soooo offended when others don’t like it. It sounds to me like you are bothered by it yourself! Think about it! Read your comments again and look how much anger is hiding in those words!!! Why the strong response? Why do we get so upset at small things? It’s not what others believe that is the issue it’s why it bothers us. For example the story about the girl drinking at a church potluck. I would drink wine with church friends, I would even drink something even if it its offered at church, but I will not drink at a church that believes its wrong out of respect. I am not offended at the girl drinking, I am offended at her obvious need to make the church feel like they are wrong or her need to shock people. That is where the sin lies. Just like it would be sinful for a non drinker to get angry and upset at someone drinking in an appropriate setting. It is our attitudes that are the problem. Satan has a good laugh at us for looking at the silly things while staying blind to what really matters, our heart!! I think it’s sad that a beautiful article has turned into another place to have a catfight. We all believe different things, lets leave it at that. If you are truly in the word of God, He will show you what is right and wrong, it’s not our place to judge others. It is HIS!!!
Thanks again Krista for this great article. It blessed my heart.
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I wish there was a ‘like’ button. You expressed something that I’ve been thinking about ever since reading this article and comments. I think Satan uses anything he can to distract Christians…..the color of the church carpet; who “runs” the church kitchen; one word in an article. Also, sometimes I think we forget that Jesus, divine and man, was a real person. I’m sure he didn’t say please when he overturned the tables. He loved (and still loves) the unlovely. He’s our example.
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I thank you for being honest with women. I was from that old school where we had to act just as you described. Along the way I become a mentor and speaker, but realized there was such a lack in telling people that, even when you follow Christ, life shows up! BUT God can make us strong to face life. Good job.
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Amen!
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Love it
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That was absolutely beautiful. Very well spoken. Just what I needed for a pick-me-up this morning as I begin my daily battle with 5 children on their day off of school. We all need to remember to turn to the Lord in our times of trial, for it is within him that we find the strength we never knew we had. Thank you for sharing!
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Reblogged this on Rebel Wife's Blog.
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I found it hard to get past the d-word towards the end. Really?? I also struggled with the grammar mistakes — for example, not a “woman who’s strength,” but rather, “woman whose strength.” Sorry, for me these items overshadowed the message you were trying to get across.
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You need to open your heart and hear the message and stop being so critical of the message that was layed upon her heart.
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Why is it that “Christians” who are clothed with the armor of God spend so much time fighting each other?
This is incredible, reading all the comments below with all these followers of Christ fighting amongst yourselves over minor points of cursing and drinking “a beer” at a church gathering (which, if you look in scripture and history, was not uncommon) and women being torn down by facebook posts of the so-called “super wives” when they have the OPTION and the SELF CONTROL over themselves and of their own mobile device or computer to look at social media outlets and these images of “sexy”women. Can we not exercise a little fruit of the spirit (what’s the last one? Oh yeah, self-control) anymore and choose to avoid outlets we know will bombard us with images of sin and tear us down? That might be part of being a “strong” woman in faith as well, discerning which poor media to expose yourself too, and no doubt this will also assist your husband as you will be less down trodden, and he will be less exposed to the same negative media. You might say, well what would I do without my Facebook? How would I possibly stay connected and up to date? I think we’ve clearly discovered in the last 5 years since everyone has a smart phone on their hip (or in your purse or other convenient clothing location) that staying connected is not our problem, and going with the main steam crowd is not getting anywhere positive. You have control of what media outlets you choose to expose yourself too (I hope); your media device should not have control of you. And if it’s not a media device from which you’re getting this, if it’s actually in person with women in your own church, then I’d encourage you to do this: instead of being pulled into these conversations that year you down, use the mind God gave you and the fruit of the spirit and re-direct the conversation to something more up-lifting. By doing this, you are leading by example, not being drawn into arguments or foolish conversation (which Proverbs addresses at length), showing that Christ is at work in you, and building up the witness of the church.
Back on my main point: As someone stated below (or above, whichever it is) the top two things we are called to do ABOVE ALL ELSE:
1) Love The Lord your God w/ all your heart, soul and mind.
2) Love your neighbor as yourself.
As stated in Corinthians, there is a time for rebuke and correction, but do us and the church a favor and save it for a time when you have the position (meaning, a relationship with someone that gives you the place to speak truth in love into someone’s life) to do so, rather than doing it in a public forum that makes the church look even more divided over minor issues. Always correct in private and praise (genuinely – not with superficial flattery, but with genuine compliments) in public.
“Major on the majors, minor on the minors and in all things, love.”
This means major on what Christ majors on, and minor on what he minors on; I’d say from the top two commandments, it is LOVE he majors on rather than quarreling amongst ourselves (which is directly addressed in James 4 as based in selfish motives and therefore does not further the love of Christ or the purpose of the church). Alcohol consumption and cursing (or not doing so) will fall into the right place when you are loving The Lord your God completely and as a result, not wanting to do anything that would dishonor Him or discredit His witness or that of the church. That is how the top two commandments I believe are designed to bring all those other minor points in line. Out of love for Christ and one another, we sacrifice our own fleshly desires to further the witness of the church and not cause anyone to stumble, which, for weaker believers and non-believers may be some of those minor things. Just cause you don’t struggle with it as I see some people saying below, if you are striving to adopt the attitude of Christ found in Phil. 2 – humility and servanthood – which you will only adopt by knowing and loving Christ more, you should be willing and able to understand that someone else might struggle with the bottle and drinking to excess, or having corrupt talk as a regular part of their vocabulary and be willing to give that up to lift others up. If you really think you need curse words (man made or supposedly God made) to express uplifting and encouraging talk, I’d encourage you to re-evaluate your thinking.
Regardless, I think quarreling amongst ourselves in a church that already presents a divided and broken image to the world around us, in a public social media outlet no less, is pretty counter-productive to the witness of the church, wouldn’t you say?
I would challenge each of you who felt the need to correct someone else in the comments on this post to look inward and ask Christ to reveal to you how you need to humble yourself, change, and serve to be a better witness of the church, rather than tearing each other down. Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. If we’re living the love of Christ, let’s protect each other and the church a little more, trust and hope that we are each submitting to Christ and asking him to work in us, and persevere to create a more unified church and witness to others.
That’s all.
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Exactly!
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This was a wonderful post. Written with all the love and amazement at the nuggets in scripture that you find. Believe me, you will find many in your life. And this golden nugget of strength will be required in almost all of them, except the ones where you will be made weak for His power to be displayed.
Please don’t forget as you go through your life criticizing your past and gaining new wisdom, that many people at that time were teaching what they knew best. You stand on the shoulders of the women of that time. Think of how these women felt when they got to teach that information when 20 years before them, there was no reason for a woman to take a bible class. They were to be taught at home by their husbands.
I’m so grateful for your blog. Grateful for your wisdom that even an older woman with a strong marriage and not nearly perfect kids can learn from, because, I know, you stood on the shoulders of the women who did the best they could during their time for what was available to them. Go blaze new trails!
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Thank you for pouring your heart out and for the message it is incredible. Now I may not be an English major or even know how to spell every word in the dictionary but i do know how to open my eyes and my heart to hear a message and girl I heard yours. So much of your story your real life daily struggles I can relate to and somehow though it may be on a different wave of the storm that we are going through I hear your message loud and clear. Your words are profound and hit so close to home. Thank you for being a beacon of God’s love and putting it all in to prospective. I am so tired of feeling like I have to be a certain someone or look a certain way without someone always knocking me down. I find insecurities that I battle within over others opinions. I need to stand strong and rely more on God, be forgiving, not judgmental and not mean. I can’t thank you enough for your words and for encouraging me to be a better me and a better Christian!! I am motivated..
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Brittney You have such a way with words…so encouraging and so motivating Brittney you are an up-lifter!! ..You should be a writer!! I hope you are~~if not PURSUE IT!! 🙂
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Thank you Brittney, I am glad God has used what He taught me to help encourage others! Thanks for having the courage to reach out!
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That was an encouraging post! As a man I have definitely been in that position of needing my wife’s strength more than once! Its important for women to remember that strength is not sass, arrogance, or belittlement; many times its just a silent steady hand and heart when things look like they are breaking down. Great post!
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This is absolutely wonderful and so incredibly encouraging!! Thank you so much!
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Excellent post! A group of teenage girls and I are studying obsessions and the obsession to have relief from pain, struggles, etc. is our current chapter. I think this will be a wonderful post to read to them. So often we do want to give up, but our Lord simply says trust me.
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“The problem isn’t the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem. Do you understand?” – Captain Jack Sparrow
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As a christian man married for just shy of 50 years I applaud you and thank you for your insight.
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Very true indeed.
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Some people live to point out others mistakes. I do believe it says in the Bible “judge not lest you also shall be judged.”. I don’t believe God looks too favorably on self-piteous people. Nobody is perfect and everyone makes mistakes but to judge someone over a word or grammar mistake, and missing the wonderful message is worse than anything else…..don’t judge!
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I can’t express how on target this blog is. How many times have I been beaten over the head with Proverbs 31, both by others and even by myself. I thank you for your honesty and for finding the hallelujah in this situation that we all find ourselves in. I will follow this blog with much enthusiasm from the comfort of my Walla Walla, Washington home…
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My thoughts on this are that
#1. It is easy to mistake business with godliness.
#2. it is easy to mistake being judgmentalness with godliness.
In my path to me degree in Biblical studies it has occurred to me that I can pass with an “A” in every class and fail at life and that if I were to fail a class I could still pass life. I can repeat anything in life that I fail but with raising my children I only get one go round.
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WOW!!!!!!!!! Honesty is one of the godly traits I admire in a Christian woman! Bravo and thank you for sharing the truth from your heart.
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I loved this post so much. It resonated with me in more ways that I can describe. Our society puts way too much pressure on pinterest-perfect homes and unrealistic views of family life. As soon as I read this post, I knew it would be part of a reference within my own blog. It melds perfectly with my writings about the Prov 31 woman and being a high school coach’s wife. Many thanks for your honesty and love of the Lord!
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Thank you, thank you, thank you for posting!! What a great message. You should teach young women this.
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I have been married 43 years and I love my husband so very much. In June he had a brain hemorrhage and passed away. It was so fast and a terrible shock . I am broken into pieces. I pray every day, but I can’t think straight much. I guess I am not listening not focusing very well. I can’t be strong yet. Your blog and the verses have helped a little tonight. I don’t sleep well. The Bible verses are good. I just have to read them over and over
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Reblogged this on Poetical Gab.
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This was great, but was it necessary to swear about the crock pot? Ruined the whole article for me. Almost seems hypocritical. =(
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Interestingly your attitude seems hypocritical to me.
Perhaps this follow up article might be of assistance.
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Reblogged this on Mrs. Medicine Man and commented:
With 600+ comments, clearly I’m not alone in saying this post gave me lots to think about. I happen to be one of the people who agrees whole-heartedly that being a “Godly Woman” has nothing to do with putting dinner on the table every night and everything to do with being a conduit of God’s strength to those around you.
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