A Very Manhattan Christmas

Living in Manhattan makes for an interesting Christmas to say the least.

While I could spend this entire post talking about the magic and wonder that is the Holiday Season in New York City, and I could describe to you in great detail the intricate beauty of the store front windows at Macy’s and Saks Fifth Avenue (like the actual Saks store that’s on Fifth Avenue!), or the glow of the Rockefeller tree shining down on the ice skaters below… there’s no need to! You have an abundance of movies and television shows that can portray the very same thing!

I could tell you all about how my husband and I ‘bumped into’ Mariah Carey singing Christmas carols one night, or how after the city’s first snow, we spent the weekend sledding in Central Park… but that’s nothing you couldn’t see on my Instagram.

I know my readers, and you want the dirt!

And as always, I can deliver!

Manhattan is much like the friend you have, that is always fancy and dressed to the nines. And although you may not see it, there is a whole other side that they don’t go flaunting to the world (a side which includes sweat pants, retainers, and zit-cream, I would presume). And just because you don’t see it, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist!

Manhattan is much of the same way. A life well-balanced in glitz, glamour, and TRASH! Bright lights, high society, and CAMPING. And for the record, I have never been one to camp!

Sex and the City could very well be the culprit, by portraying the streets of NYC as endless flowing cosmopolitan’s, and high-end fashion! But those of us who live in Manhattan know that between the months of December and March, we forego all glamour to embrace the likes of rain boots and down jackets that reach past our ankles.

So forget what Sex and the City taught you… in the winter, bears hibernate, birds migrate, and New Yorker’s take on the look of an Eskimo.

… And for good reason! Although the 254 million cars out there successfully serve to limit the effects of the raging wind to nothing more than a light jostle for it’s passengers; we “walker-type” feel the pierce of the arctic gusts deep within our limbs, and see each new burst as a threat to losing our footing and breaking every bone in our bodies (the bones we will so desperately need to carry our Christmas tree on our backs, 10 blocks back to our apartment!)

That very same snow that others drive through effortlessly – thanks to 4 wheel drive and the comfort of having the heat blasting on high – we have the privilege of trudging though, wearing innumerable layers and bad attitudes, in order to get to the corner store to replenish our beloved ranch dressing.

We also loathe the Post Office, but not for the same reasons you might! Standing in long lines is the least of our worries… too often, we are more worried for our safety! We aren’t sure exactly why, but there is always yelling involved, and it’s entirely likely that the sweet 90-year-old man standing with us in line – who, just minutes before, was offering your daughter a sucker – is now calling another man something that rhymes with ‘sucker’, and is threatening to cut his body in a million pieces and hide his remains in the crawl space of his Lexington Avenue apartment.

Merry Christmas!

And although New Yorker’s have A LOT they could ask from Santa this year (like finally getting an apartment bigger than a walk in closet, and the miracle it would be to have an absence of rodents IN that apartment!) I think it’s safe to say, if it takes sitting on an old man’s lap from New York City, than we will gladly settle for coal. I don’t care how cute and jolly that Santa looked in the Macy’s parade, I know better than to trust a New Yorker. Even on Christmas!

You also know you are living in Manhattan if – in your attempt to outsmart the crowds, the need for Santa, and the Post Office nazis – you have purchased every gift from your Amazon Prime account (which no doubt, every New Yorker has!) But then like me, find that once they are delivered, you have no recollection of what the contents are of each package, and who they are for!

Not to mention that your Christmas tree (and more specifically, the gifts under it) look a little less merry than would probably be desired…

All around the world, ‘Tis the season for baking cookies, caroling, and spreading Christmas cheer… And in Manhattan, for judging people by the (unnecessarily large) size of their umbrellas, taking in the scent of pine wafting through the streets (as opposed to the usual fragrance of urine), and the over abundance of weirdos rocking Santa hats!

And yet interestingly enough, we love it.

Some of us couldn’t imagine spending the holidays anywhere else! While others of us travel out of the city with high hopes of normalcy and family, but in time, will be itching to get back to the madness…  And that will always surprise us!

It might even cause us to secretly wonder to ourselves, if the city has made us unfit to live anywhere else, ever again…. And in a way, we will be proud of that.

Because no matter how much peace and quiet our souls are so desperately longing for, one thing is certain, the city will always call us back and welcome us home with bustling streets and honking that will go on into the night… Which upon returning, will make us smile.

And when it does, no matter how volatile the weather (or our fellow New Yorker), no matter how overwhelming the masses of tourists, or how long the lines are sure to be at the grocery store… the pharmacy… the veterinarian… and anywhere else we need to go for that matter! We will know with complete certainty, that there is no where else we would rather be in 2014…

Than living in New York City, baby!

From Manhattan,

I want to wish you all a very VERY Merry Christmas!