This Blog Isn’t For You

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So we blew up the blogosphere this last week…

Like for real, and entirely on accident!

And as Rachel and I watched the number of daily visitors grow on our blog – doubling, tripling, and so on…  and so on – I realized something new about myself…

Success isn’t my scene.

While it makes me momentarily want to dance on the table in excitement, just as quickly, it had me rocking back and forth in fetal position, scratching my eyelids, and taking an oath that I would never write again.

Throughout the week, it’s entirely possible that I made a few frantic phone calls to Rachel, where we weighed our options, and questioned whether it would be best to just shut down the blog completely (no really… we were THAT freaked out!)

And yet, interestingly enough, here I am once again.

Only took 500 gallons of chamomile tea to calm my escalating heart rate, and another trillion prayers to the Lord Almighty, but I am here!

But due to the attention we got this last week, and taking into consideration the many feathers I ruffled ( because apparently people don’t understand the disclaimer: “I know this post will offend people… and for the record I am not sorry!”) I thought it might be fitting to clarify a few things:

Yes, I am a pastor’s wife. And no, that’s not a title I can live up to! Being a ‘Pastors wife’ is in no way my identity (you won’t here me ‘name dropping’ that in posts to come…) And whether you choose to believe it or not, I am a human being  just. like. you!

I am not über spiritual- In fact the Real Housewives of New Jersey and I have an ongoing date on my couch every week (and if there are wheat thins and chocolate covered acai berries involved, then all the better!) Admittedly, I curse on occasion for emphasis, and I make a MEAN margarita!

That being said, while it’s entirely your choice whether or not you hold me to the unrealistic standard of what you believe that a Pastor’s wife should be, if you choose to do so, I can say with 100% certainty that I will fail. Miserably.

And when I do, it’ll be your fault for putting me on that pedestal -not mine!

And if you don’t like that, then this blog is not for you.

I also am by no means the picture of a perfect parent. I secretly despise the playground, too often turn to the plethora of take-out menus for dinner at night, and it’s entirely possible that the first music my daughter ever heard in the womb was a Black Eyed Pea’s song, that my husband and I had methodically picked out!

And if you don’t like that, then…

well, you get where I am going with this!

I love the Lord deeply with all that I am. And whether or not a relationship with Him is what you desire, you hang with me long enough and it’s likely my faith will be contagious.

So a word of caution: If that is something you are extremely opposed to, then this blog might not be for you. (Although, I secretly hope you will stick around anyway!:)

If my grammatical errors anger you to the point where you feel the need to comment about them, then I am sorry, but it seems you have confused me with a real writer!

Simply put, I am a stay at home mom, who – what I lack in hobbies, is made up for with dishes in the sink! I struggle daily to get out of my pajamas, and am always scrambling to get my weekly blog post done in time while my two year old crawls all over my limbs, feeding me fistfuls of goldfish crackers in an attempt to get me to impersonate the cookie monster (which for the record, I have no shame in doing!)

All that to say, if you are looking for an eloquent speaker or errorless presentation, then this will never be the blog for you!

As for me, I will cling to the hope that if God can use simple farmers, despised tax collectors, and even sons of prostitutes to bring Him glory, then surely the Lord in all of His greatness, won’t even bat an eye at the mish-mash that can be my english!

And given the chance that I get a negative comment – or give or take a few HUNDRED like last week! 😉

I will not respond. Ever!

I know, I know…  you are “being pressed by the Holy spirit” to tell me how wrong I am and what not, but regardless, that’s just not me. It’s not that I don’t respect your opinion, it’s that I don’t write to please you – or anyone else for that matter!

I write because God has laid it on my heart to be unapologetically honest and courageously me! To be vulnerable enough to share my weakest, and rawest thoughts so that He can meet me there and transform my heart to be more like His. NOT to merely write for His people; their praise, their public acclaim, or to address their criticism!

So if you are looking to debate with someone or are itching for a feud,

This

Blog

Is

Not

For

You.

Phew! Now that we got that out of the way – and since we have weeded off all the haters by now –  may those of you who are still with us, continue on this journey of true authenticity. The kind where we aren’t afraid to publicly declare that our kids are making us cray cray, that our spouse is one- dirty- q tip – left – on – the – counter away from sleeping on the fire escape (like, indefinitely!) and to address that more often then not, we struggle with feelings of being not enough; enough of a provider, enough as a spouse, enough as a parent, and at times, even enough as a CHRISTIAN! Gasp! I know, its scandalous I tell you!

Together, I hope we can learn to lean into Christ for all that we need, learning to love Him and trust Him more, so that with His strength we can embrace the (at times craaaaazy) life he has laid out for us!

We will be your guides, and although we can’t promise perfection, an agreeable nature (or in my case, savory language 100% of the time) you do have our word that we will be honest and raw to the core, in hopes that one day you too will be able to do the same!

And if THAT is what your soul has been so desperately longing for, then I am so happy to announce that this IS the blog for you! And we couldn’t be happier to have you on board!

But before I go I must publicly declare…

that I, Krista,

do solemnly swear,

to never curse a crockpot ever again! 😉

There. I said it. Now can we all just get along?

Krista Signature

164 thoughts on “This Blog Isn’t For You”

  1. I can’t emphasize how refreshing these words are. I loved the entry that you are referring to in this one, but it already had 30 kabillion comments before I read it, so I didn’t bother commenting on it. I bet you did ruffle some feathers!! (Also, I refrained from reading the many comments, except that I did see the ridiculous one that dared to correct your grammar and spelling.) Love you, love this blog, and look forward to reading many more posts in the future. Your realism and honesty is very refreshing. I find that I’m a lot like you, except I prefer rum and root beer to margaritas. 😀

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  2. You know, I actually started following you because of that scandalous post you’re referring to,and have been known to curse the crock pot maybe once (ok, maybe twice.) I was deeply blessed by the honesty you put forth in the post. Thank you!

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  4. Awesome! More women need to read, see, and hear HONEST, transparent words! “Fluffy Church Lady” garb does nothing but shame, humiliate and belittle us women and make us shy away from church, God, etc.

    Words like yours, however, empower us sometimes “cray, cray” moms/wives to live the way God intended. 🙂

    Thank you and God Bless you!!

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  6. I appreciate your authenticity. I think the haters completely missed the point of your post the other day. As for me, I find it refreshing to finally be reading “real” life. As my writing professor used to say, “Keep writing!”

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  7. I would like to encourage you to continue. I myself thought your comments where right on. I needed them. You will have to understand that a lot of people in there walk with Jesus are just not that honest with themselves. You just rubbed there conscience the right way. Now they will think about what you’ve said and it will set off a chain reaction in them to be honest with themselves before God. Cause he sees us all anyway and all the way. So please keep up the good work. Beth

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  8. I appreciate your authenticity. I think the haters completely missed the point of your post the other day. As for me, I find it refreshing to finally be reading “real” life. As my writing professor used to say, “Keep writing!” {I just tried to comment and my Google/Wordpress accounts wigged out, so I apologize if this got sent to you more than once!}

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  10. Krista, you are like a breath of sunshine! Maybe if I had possessed your grit , my husband and I would still be “in” the ministry. I doubt it… But blame must be put somewhere, and a group of well meaning “friends” put that one on me! Please continue to write…. It is a blessing to see a young lady in love with the Lord, not afraid to stand up for it and also has a clue about being real and honest. I look forward to hearing more… And “Yes” this is for me! 🙂

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  11. I too am a “Pastors wife” and I struggle with the expectations and pedestal we get put on! I so appreciated your post last week, which is why I chose to follow your blog! Thank you for being REAL!!! Looking forward to reading more!

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  13. Interesting. The post that caused so much scandal is the reason I began following! As a pastor myself, I struggle with my humanness and the pedestal I am often placed upon…no one will ever measure up and be perfect, and I appreciate your willingness to be vulnerable, honest, and speak the truth about the struggles we all face whether we want to admit it or not! We could all stand a little more honesty! Keep on writing…because your blog is for people like me!

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  14. Well….amen. New to the blog, think it is for me. crockpot? I can’t even cook!! God’s grace my friend- God’s grace. Keep preaching!

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  15. I’m new to your blog but I did read your last post and I LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU GIRL! I can relate 100% to you. I was raised as a preaches daughter, almost the same as a preachers wife so believe me when I say I FEEL YA! And BTW, I simply adore my margaritas and my wine and an occasional glass of good scotch! Oh and yes my potty mouth is a constant work in progress too! However like you said, it doesn’t mean that I’m not 100% dedicated to serving my Lord! Thank you for such a refreshing and honest approach at being a Christian. Keep up the great writing!

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  16. Just about made me cry, I am still with you. I appreciate your honesty and realness (is that a word?). :o) Thank you for reminding me that we are only human as we look to Christ to change us and form us and teach us to be all that he has created us to be. I can never live up to my own expectations I put on myself but I am learning to see myself as he sees me. God bless you as you continue on this blog journey, and yes as you say…one day I hope to be as honest and raw too one day. I believe that is when He is able to work in us, all for His Glory and for His praise.

    :o) Denise

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  17. Thank you! All I hope for, or could even ask, is that you continue just the way you are….I am neither young or with kids about any longer, but your blog still speaks to me and for that I am grateful!

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  18. Krista, I absolutely loved your post last week. As a young, single woman who is trying to serve the Lord and grow in my relationship with Him and others, being reaffirmed of the importance to be strong in Him was such an important thing. Being strong in the Lord is something that every woman — single or married can pray for. But so often in the Christian culture it is taught that a Godly woman takes care of her husband. So, what does that mean for women who aren’t married? You may have included a word that offended people, but I pray that you would not let that huge display of legalism discourage you from writing. I believe that God used it as a gift for more viewers!

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    1. Thank you so so much for reaching out and sharing your thoughts! I really appreciate the encouragement… it couldn’t have come at a better time!

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  19. Krista, I see you with beautiful wings that has been set free from living the life of past struggling pastors wives. I am old enough to be your grandmother & was born and raised in the church. I’ve seen pastors wives that had nervous breakdowns because they couldn’t live their own lives. So you just keep being 100% you. You are such a honest and lovely gal. Keep loving the Lord as he leads you too.

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  20. I have to admit, I am a recovering hypocrite. A year ago I would have been the first one in your comments to tell you that you are to be above reproach & a whole bunch of other garbage. I would have felt completely justified because I was holding you accountable as a sister in Christ. Those people who were so quick to judge are ignoring how sinful & fallen they are. Somehow Satan uses pride to keep us from seeing who we are. But God has been working on me & you know what I have found? FREEDOM!!! Freedom to be myself……& your post hit me in a most wonderful way last week. I shared it on FB & sent at least 10 new folks to your blog who soooo needed to hear your words. Everyone of them were desperate to hear that they too can be free to be themselves! I just left a church that was so full of fluff that I NEVER found authenticity, which never allows growth……it’s a BAAADDD place to be. So, in the end, you really should feel sorry for those folks & being praying that they find freedom from the bondage that is holding them to a standard that they themselves will never live up to. It isn’t attractive or contagious. Thank you for being real……it’s what non-Christians NEED to see & what your sisters NEED to hear!!

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    1. Yes!!! Reagan, you are soooo right! Thank you for taking the time to write me, and to share your story! And I love your honesty in admitting you are a recovering hypocrite! Thank you:)

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  21. I have not even finished the post and had to comment. My MeMaw was a “pastors” wife and you remind me so much of her!!! In a real wonderful loving people but I’m not going to be fake just because I am a “pastors” wife way!!! I will keep you and your family in my prayers and please don’t stop blogging!!! A lot of us feel just as you do!!!

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  22. Your “controversial” blog is why I signed up (loved it!!)…and the following statement just has me smiling right now…”you are “being pressed by the Holy spirit” to tell me how wrong I am and what not” Very real, nothing sugarcoated or perfect here, bravo!!!

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  23. Krista! I love your blog, I even love that you cursed the crock pot. Thank you for being real. I greatly admire you for it. There really are not enough genuine people anymore and it makes me really sad that new york stole you away just as we were getting to know each other. I hope all is well and you have a great holiday! 🙂
    ~Nikki

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  26. Just so you know, I was saying *out loud* “yes” “yes” “yes” as I read your post today. God bless you, sister. Keep fighting the good fight because I believe your faith will be very contagious! 😉

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  27. Well, it just so happens that people who think positively post comments less than others. Sorry you had to endure that! But yiur Blog really resonated with me and I am the wife of a former youth pastor and we run a ministry for teens!! Occasionally I cuss when I’m angry… So what! And I abhor the way people put the KJV of the Bible on a false pedestal! But your open honesty was refreshing! I think you would love some encouragement about writing from Mary DeMuth if you’re not already familiar with her look up her blog! And keep writing! LOVED IT!!!!!

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  28. You and Rachel are awesome! I LOVE all the feathers you ruffled. I saw your blog posted of several of my friends FB… I was, “hey… I know them”!

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  30. Yes, yes and yes. I can’t agree with this post more! My blog broke the internet last week too and 3 million hits later over a silly elf calendar I was bombarded by the feminism movement, atheists, judgy Christians and even a radio dj who sent me horrible messages through twitter. I cried and rocked myself in the fetal position for almost 24 hours during the ordeal. I never asked or sought after any notoriety especially over something trivial but if God and can claim glory and triumph in it then so be it. Thanks for your post. Humbling heart felt and just wanted I needed to hear!

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    1. Glad i am not the only one that considered checking myself into a mental hospital over a little blog traffic! 🙂 Thanks for the encouragement!

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  32. I absolutely love this! I just starting following you a couple weeks ago and it was specifically because you’re so REAL. You say what you say and people can deal with it, you love The Lord but you don’t sugar coat things and that’s beautiful and inspiring to me. It’s nice to know that not everyone is perfect and never angry and loves everybody all the time and has birds and small forest creatures follow her while she sings. Thank you, keep it up sista! 🙂

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    1. hahaha!!! “loves all the time and has birds and small forest creatures follow her while she sings” I think it’s official. Our blog followers are HILARIOUS!!! 🙂

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  33. Finally a Christian blog that I can relate to! You’re blogs are wonderful- your honesty, love for the lord, and love of life are to be admired!

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  35. This blog is definitely for me! I’ll take true, raw honest thoughts and processing over that fake stuff any day! I think you are so amazing!

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  36. I just wanted to let you know that you had me open my Bible for the first time in over 20 years last night. I thought I never fit in as a Christian, although I felt it in my heart. I knew God was real, but I, in my stubbornness, decided I could handle things on my own. I am tattooed and pierced and didn’t think any church would accept me and I finally found one that welcomed me with open arms.

    Please keep writing so that I can learn and grow more. I have never subscribed to a blog of any type, not even my favorite writers. I am so glad that I stumbled on this one. Thank you lifting some weight off my shoulders, opening my mind, letting some light in and letting me know that I am perfect in God’s eyes.

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    1. Oh Amanda, I am not exaggerating when I say that your comment just had me get tears in my eyes. All the criticism, and negativity are worth it to me, when you say that the same post that got so many people raging, was able to inspire you to open up your bible for first time in 20 years! So thank you, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!

      And for the record, I LOVE that you are tattooed and pierced! Just saying… 😉

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      1. I am the one who should be thanking you. It was God who put you on my computer yesterday and inspired me to read Proverbs 31. And I, like you, first examined it with oppression and wondered where did all these wonder women go? Then I continued to read and I saw it the way you did. They weren’t always perfect for they only had 24 hours in a day as we do now and there was no way in hell they did every bit of those duties; however, besides strength I figured another thing out that we lack today and that is community. Women are to busy criticizing to get together and help one another. We all have a few close friends, but mine are far, due to my husband being in the military and us having to start anew every 2-3 years, but still we lack community. We lack simple things to relieve stress where it is just us women i.e: bible study, book clubs, brunch etc. Nothing fancy, just getting to know you (and yes I sang the song from The Kind and I).

        The world is hard enough why do we choose to make it harder? Why do choose to lust over what we don’t have and be thankful for what we do?

        I had an epiphany when my Granny passed last month, she was my rock, and as I was looking into her casket it hit me. YOU CAN’T TAKE IT WITH YOU. Sorry people. I hate to tell you this, but you cannot take anything with you. My Granny didn’t even want shoes on her feet. Then my grandma passed away two weeks ago and all her money and cars and houses are still here as well. The Lord has no room for earthly possessions and yet if someone buys a new car we wonder how they bought that?

        (Sorry kind of rambling) Back to you. You came into my life because God wanted me to see that a true Christian isn’t perfect. In fact, on my outer forearm I have tattooed Perfectly Imperfect.

        So I want to thank the Lord, our Savior, for bringing you to me. May I continue my spiritual with you and with the new Church that I have found.

        Sincerely with love in my heart and without malice,

        Amanda

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      2. Thank you Amanda for all your sweet comments! I look forward to hearing how god continues to lead and guide you!

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  37. Krista,
    You post last week is EXACTLY why I started following. Being a Christian in my early twenties is so hard now a days, and I catch a lot of flak for not being “perfect” all the time. But some people will just never understand that the Lord knows that we are sinners. There is no way for us to live up to the expectations that are given to us by our peers. It’s so nice to know that there are other women out there struggling with the same daily problems as me! As for the MEAN margarita. You can make them, and I can down them. Hahaha.

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  39. Many of us forget that pastors and their wives are not perfect…that their spirituality waxes and wanes some days just like everyone else’s. There are days that I feel like my faith has been wadded up like tin foil and tossed in a corner and others where it shines forth like a beacon. I truly enjoyed your post for the humanness it shares and I look forward to the new ones. Thank you.

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  40. I am also a pastors wife…that said, I don’t play the piano, wear a Sunday hat, or relish the thought of working in the nursery every blessed Sunday (I’ve begged all the right peeps not to sentence me to that).
    I do however fiercely love The Lord and will die declaring His name on my lips, I also have a deep and abiding respect and adoration for the crockpot.
    If I should be granted the opportunity to get my college degree some day, I’ll go ham on a professor that I paid to speak to me of crockpots and weddings.
    Meanwhile, I’ll continue to homeschool my boy/girl 14 yo twins and train them in the way they should go…with or without a crockpot.
    You nailed this. I’m proud to be your sister in Christ. Stay strong in who Christ granted you to be. Share your wisdom unashamedly, and screw (read here, pray for) the rest.

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  41. I love this response and I really appreciated and loved your past post. Always grateful for a new way to read Scripture. Thank you and please keep writing!

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  42. Thank you for your candidness. I struggle daily with everything you blogged about the other day. I fail miserably every.single.day. Reading this blog helps me realize that I am not alone and that I am not a bad mother, wife, or teacher. I’m just human. Thank you!

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  45. Shhhhh, can you hear that? It’s ME, applauding you like crazy from my less-than-perfect-house in my less-than-perfect-life, but with perfect admiration for your willingness to put yourself out there for all of us to appreciate! You have written things that I myself could also say but don’t have your way with words, but one thing I CAN SAY is that we are children of God and He loves us in every package we happen to be blessed with as life. It has taken me 63 years to get to this ‘place’ in my growth cycle, and I am pleased to see you are a young woman and have lots of years ahead to enjoy your life! Keep on bloggin’!!! Love your work, Cindy in SC

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  46. Disappointed in this blogger total let down… (Jk krista had to read ur blog now that ur famous haha!!) praying for u guys and awesome watching God do huge things through u guys!

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    1. Oh no, I totally forgot to give you a shout out! Must have forgotten due to the fact that I have bazillions of people trying to devour my soul! 🙂 Next time… definitely next time… 😉

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  49. Krista – I’m a 49 year old grandmother and am just tuning into your blog today because a friends daughter posted one of your articles. And I have to say, I love, love,love it. As one of those women who attempted to be the Superwoman that everyone else expected me to be and am now physically and mentally exhausted, I want to preach from the roof tops for this generation NOT to all into that trap. It’s just makes an angry person and God intended for us to enjoy this life he gave us. Keep it up girl!

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