If you ever hesitate to watch the news because you’re afraid it’ll give you (yet another reason) to consider giving up on God…
When you’d best describe your relationship with God as “you aren’t on speaking terms,” and you’ve avoided your Bible at all costs, almost as a public declaration to the Lord Almighty himself that:
YOU
ARE
DONE.
If you feel yourself coming apart at the seams…
And the thought of Him looking down on you, as you fall to pieces on the kitchen floor, sickens you.
When the lingering question curious minds want to know is, “It couldn’t possibly be as bad as you say… right?” …as if asking YOU to comfort THEM through YOUR pain is a perfectly logical request.
When you are left to smile through their ignorance and good intentions, all while they unknowingly affirm your greatest fear; you are painfully alone…
If you cringe when people flippantly use words like ‘anxiety’ and ‘depressed’ to lightheartedly describe things such as the congestion on the George Washington Bridge, or what they fear will be the outcome of the latest Bachelorette episode. (insert: eye-rollage, heavy on the attitude)
If you are in desperate need of
Peace…
Victory…
or Proof that God is still sovereign, and that He’s still holding the world in his hands…
If you are afraid that given the chance His deliverance ISN’T on the horizon, you might just let go…
Then this SONG and these VERSES are for you, US!
Lord, hear my prayer! Listen to my plea! Don’t turn away from me in my time of distress. Bend down to listen, and answer me quickly when I call to you.
For my days disappear like smoke, and my bones burn like coals. My heart is sick, withered like grass, and I have lost my appetite… I lie awake, lonely as a solitary bird on the roof… my tears run because of your anger and wrath. For you have picked me up and thrown me out.
But you, O Lord, will sit on your throne forever. Your fame will endure to EVERY generation. You will ARISE and HAVE MERCY… NOW is the time to pity her, NOW is the time you promised to help… for the Lord will REBUILD. He will APPEAR in his glory. He will LISTEN to the prayers of the destitute. HE WILL NOT REJECT THEIR PLEAS.
Psalm 102
Krista Ortiz 
How could you have known this is exactly what I needed today? Dealing with my mother who is the one person in the world who can make me feel worthless has been so hard today. All I ever wanted was her love and approval but that’s just never going to happen. I need to let this go and understand God is the only one I can count on to never let me down. It doesn’t take away the hurt of my mother though…
LikeLike
Praying for you Misty! I am sorry your heart hurts so badly, I know the feeling well and pray that God will meet you where you are at and comfort you in the way only he can! Thanks again for reaching out
LikeLike
I’ve been in that place. You are not alone. Sending hugs.
LikeLike
God bless you Krista! Rememeber nothing can separate us from his love ❤ Im praying for you 🙂
LikeLike
Hi Krista,
Thanks so much for your posts. I am not sure what your struggles entail but I often wonder how you can so accurately give voice to my pain and confusion. 😦
I have been married for 10 years to a man that just in the past year was officially diagnosed as bipolar, borderline personality and narcissistic. By choice he has been a pathological liar for the duration as well and also struggles with internet addition and goes to a men’s group to help deal with that… 😦 To say that I approach every day with determination and dread at what he is going to put me through either new or a repeat is an understatement. My mother, who was my rock and my wisdom was taken suddenly in a car accident 4 years ago. I was the first family member to find out as I stumbled across the accident site since we live down the street from them and I was coming home.
On top of it all I have a beautiful, dynamic seven year old girl that I try to spare as much as possible but she is exposed regularly to her fathers lies and I worry about her future view of God. Divorce I hear from all around me but I hang on… for what I am not sure… need to pay off debt? fear of putting my child through “co-parenting” which she doesn’t want, she has seen too much out of him… and I can tell you he is NOT emotionally able to take care of another dependent life… or maybe still a sliver of hope that he might surrender to God finally and stop destroying our home.
Either way, thank you for continuing to share and be transparent with your own struggle. I pray each day that God will help my unbelief as I sway under the pressure that my life has become.
LikeLike
Dearest Tracie, I don’t know how I just saw this message from you but I apologize for not responding sooner. Life is so so so frickin hard isn’t it? My heart goes out to you as you struggle also. Thank you for sharing your heart it means the world to me! I fully understand what its like to have your faith shaken to the core, and yet I find such comfort knowing that although I am shaken, My God never is. He doesn’t even bat an eye at what I am up against. God’s got this and someday his plan will be revealed (someday!) and we will come to know that all along, even in our darkest moments, he was right there by our side. Thanks again and again for reaching out and sharing your heart! ❤
LikeLike