The one thing that will bring you to your knees about God

There’s this trait that will one day bring you to your knees about God. I know, because it happened to me this week…

There on my knees, I found myself, tears streaming from my eyes. Partly in shock, but more than anything, unashamedly grateful.

…Grateful, for a God who goes before me.

 

The first time I grasped how intricately God goes before me, was last summer. Life was calm and sweet, and it had been such a restful and restorative season for my family that we thought it would be the perfect time to try for another baby.

God knew differently.

Within weeks of finding out I was pregnant, we lost the pregnancy. Mere weeks after that, my husband lost his job, and with it, all stability and security for our one-income family.

I will never forget getting down on my hands and knees and stretching my arms up to the heavens as I cried. Crying, because I really really really wanted that baby. So much, I could feel what it would feel like to hold it all bundled and bunched up in my arms.

But I cried also, because I was thankful. Thankful from the bottom of my broken heart, that God did not give me what I thought I wanted — I would be in big trouble if He had! (the severance we were living off of would run out the month I would’ve been due.)

Truth is, I would have never considered having a baby in that season had I known what was around the corner, and God knew that. He protected me — My God went before me!

And like I said earlier, God did the same last week.

While my family was in the U.K. last week, my husband received word that the start-up company he was currently working for would be shutting down, literally while we were out of the country. (My husband would only return to clear off his desk. #StartUpProbs.)

And again, I cried — not because I was afraid of how we were going to pay my psychotically high rent, or because I was worried about how our single-income family would survive, let alone plant the church God called us to start. (Nor, am I pregnant for that matter. Thank you, Jesus.)

I cried because, once again, my God went before me.

Just two weeks prior to my husband’s company shutting down, he was offered another job, a better job, really… The job was there on the table if he wanted it, they said.

…And God knew we would!

God went before us — aligning another job before we had any inclination there would be a need for one! Because of that, my husband won’t go without even a SINGLE paycheck! And that has brought me to my knees in gratitude these last couple of weeks.

If you only take away one thing today, let it be this: My God goes before you as well… and He can be trusted.

In Micah 2:13 God promises, “I will be out in front leading [you].”

That means God will put events on the calendar long before you understand their meaning. It means He will masterfully orchestrate ‘coincidental connections’ that will later prove to have been Divine appointments made by a God who knows what He’s doing.

He won’t always give you what you thought you wanted, but He will protect you from what you could-have-never-known was around the corner.

And though the promise that God goes before you doesn’t mean you wont find yourself walking through a war-zone one day; in circumstances so dire, that each step threatens to take you out of the game…

It means that when you do, you will find yourself miraculously unscathed. 

Unscathed, unharmed, and everything accounted for (not even a paycheck missing to pay for said: psychotically high rent) …because God, your God, was protecting you.

He’s been there all along — in front, when you were unsure which way to turn, and leading the way when you could have never known what lies ahead.

And mark my words, that protection will bring you to your knees one day.

And there on your knees you will realize – maybe even for the first time in your life – that God really, truly, can be trusted, and that your every prayer has been heard by a God who knows what He’s doing.

(The goal however, will be for us not to forget.)

// 52 weeks to write, 35 more to go //

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7 thoughts on “The one thing that will bring you to your knees about God”

  1. Thank you thank you thank you for this!! Such a timely encouragement and needed reminder! I commented on an earlier post this year and told you I had a miscarriage in November. Well, I had another one in March. Though there are days that are filled with anxiety and despair and overall are just darkly depressing… the light, like the crack of dawn hovering on the horizon, has been this idea that God knows what would/will be coming in the months ahead and His plan is always for our good. And so… I have to admit… I look forward to next month. What has been planned that I had know way of knowing about? What about this December? What will that month hold? This hope and this deep need to trust that there is something bigger surrounding my hurting heart motivates me to look back on the last six months. Has the disruption to my plans opened other doors? What about the next seven months? Your reminder this morning has served as further inspiration to watch and wait for His plans to unfold… and to do so with eyes (and heart) wide open! Your writing blesses me so much! Thank you.

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    1. Lydia, first I want to tell you how sorry I am for your second miscarriage. That is heartbreaking and confusing I’m sure, and I hate that you have had to experience that. Secondly, thank you for sharing your thoughts and what God is instilling into you. I’m telling you, I FELT THE SAME WAY! I tell people all the time, that when things go horrifically wrong that it makes me curious. Just like you said, it makes you wonder, ‘…what is God up to?’ ‘…What does He know that I don’t?’ and every single time, He proves to me that He knows what He’s doing (every. single. time!)

      My prayer for you, Lydia, is that God would make it clear for you as well. That He would bring proof – evidence if you will – that He is up there guiding your every step, and that He knows EXACTLY what He’s doing. God has such wonderful things in store for you, Lydia, and I really believe you will be blessed (more than you even know) for your amazing attitude through this. You may not feel like its an amazing attitude but God sees you looking for Him in those dark days, He sees you choosing to be curious instead of bitter, and He sees you searching for His goodness when you can’t understand what He is doing, and HE WILL BLESS YOU because of that. I speak from experience.

      Believing that for you ❤

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  2. Yes. Your writing blesses me so much, also. Thank you for sharing. This is something we all need to remember and you putting it down on paper about how it is true in your life helps cement it in my head. You are a special girl, Krista. Keep writing for us. ❤️

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  3. Krista
    I so needed to read this today. My heart is heavy with needs unspoken but as you said I need to truly look around the corner and continue to remember that He has the plan. Thanks so much for your words on the paper.
    We miss you here in the NW!

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    1. Praying for you right now, Diane. I don’t know what you are going through right now but I know god does (it’s the hardest thing to believe sometimes right? That he sees us, and knows what he’s doing.) praying that god would comfort you through these next days and weeks and that he would prove himself to be trustworthy! (He always does though, doesn’t he?)

      I love you, friend ❤️❤️❤️

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