Writing Through The Mess

  • (Week 2) A Cruel God & A Cold-hearted Truth

        As I attempted to stand to my feet I fell to the floor, my knees buckling under the pressure. Placing my head to the floor, hands clasped and gripping my heart, I sobbed knowing what no one else knew: I had asked for this heartbreak.

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  • (Week 1) Intro To Our Miracle: This Weary Heart of Mine

      [ Originally posted 2/18/2014 – When my heart broke. ] This Valentines Day, I watched while you indulged in gourmet chocolates from a tulle wrapped box, how surprised you were to find a beautiful bouquet awaiting you on the counter in the morning. I saw the dishes you ordered from your favorite restaurant and the sweet

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  • Intro To Our Miracle (A Very Special Series!)

    …What happened to Krista Ortiz? It still makes me smile thinking of the time one of my readers admitted to turning to Google to find the answer to that question.

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  • On being messy, living in the South, and getting kicked out of Bible studies

      One thing you may not know about me, is I have lived in the South before. …And I hated it. 

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  • My Father Had An Affair With The Church: You Call Him Pastor

    Years ago, I listened to the grown children of one of the most influential pastors in the country speak to a crowd of thousands of other pastors and their wives. I will never forget how each of his children took turns praising their father for how relentless he was to always put his family first,

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  • Two things happened last year: 1.) My marriage fell apart 2.) I spiraled into a deep, dark depression.

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  • You can be angry, or you can trust God. But you can’t do both.

        I was so angry. I said things – true things – that were hurtful and vengeful. Justified, but undeniably mean. Though no one listening judged me when I pointed fingers and rolled my eyes, or corrected my rage when I unapologetically threw out accusations, it was obvious during that counseling session: Though I

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  • Confession: Ever since I was a little girl, I have possessed the super-human  – and arguably, completely unhealthy – ability to repress memories. Like literally, there are chunks of my life that I don’t remember! The last year is no exception. “Its all just a blur,” I told God while away at a lake house

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  • She sat on that rock for what felt like forever, pouting and kicking the dirt around as she cried. Where are we going?!!? …What are we doing?!?  she screamed every time I reached for her hand. We were supposed to go on an adventure. But she wasn’t having it. Overwhelmed with the unknown, she stayed petrified on

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  • Against my better judgment I went canoeing last week. By myself. It seems it slipped my mind that – even on my best day – I am borderline incapable of EVERYTHING. I mean, I cry when there are too many dishes in the sink and lack the skill-set to do much more than chug water

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