God has a tendency of uprooting my life. Just when I feel like I can take a breath, make a friend or two, or even try to do something exceptionally nutty and try to have a baby or something, God decides to throw my eggs in the creek.
Let me explain…
In the book, Scouting The Divine, Margaret Feinberg sets out to better understand the term Jesus often uses to describe Himself as, “The Good Shepherd.” In Feinberg’s search, she follows a skilled shepherd around for weeks, and not surprisingly, finds the shepherd to be a loving and patient leader who wants the best for her flock — no doubt in the same way God loves, leads, and wants the best for us.
But later, Feinberg describes one of the most meaningful lessons she has learned about God (which I have also found to be the most painful…)
It came from the geese in the barn. I remember that they were constantly walking around.
“What are they looking for?” I asked The Shepherd.
“They’re looking for their eggs,” she said.
“Where are they?” I asked.
“I threw them in the creek,” The Shepherd said.
My eyes bugged in disbelief. I couldn’t help blurting out, “Why?” Her action seemed so cold and cruel – far cry from the shepherd who loved her sheep.
But then the Shepherd said something powerful….
“[ I threw their eggs in the creek ] because they were infertile,” she said. “They would never hatch… For three months they have been sitting on infertile eggs. The only way to get them back to the way they are supposed to be living is to take away their dead eggs.“
Though The Shepherd’s actions felt cruel, her motives were rooted in wisdom, and even love. And the same can be true of God.
Feinberg goes on to say, “I couldn’t help but wonder how often I have sat on dreams that were never going to come to fruition or, worse, sat on empty promises of the enemy that would never yield life – only self-destruction and death. I thought back to the numerous times where God has been faithful to remind me, “It’s time to get onto the life I have for you.”
I don’t know about you, but so many times the lovely life I have been content living – that I am truly happy living – changes abruptly. One day it is idealic, and the next it’s unfamiliar. — a health issue is found, a job is lost. A dream dies, or a family is torn apart.
It is in those moments — like a goose looking for our eggs — that we frantically try to piece our ‘perfect’ life back together. All while failing to consider that maybe, just maybe, God never intended for our lives to be put back together exactly the way He found it.
Maybe God isn’t as cruel as we originally thought, and our lives aren’t crumbling because of outside forces, or because we just didn’t have what it takes to hold it all together. Maybe The Lord is holding the chisel, and is stripping us of the things that ultimately don’t align with (the amazing) things He has planned for our future.
And so I have begun to ponder, “What if what I am going through, this turmoil I am feeling right now even as I type — is Divine?”
And it is in that space, I can feel the Lord beckoning me back to Him saying, “This IS divine, My Child. And it’s time to get back to the life I have for you…”