( I CANNOT WAIT to tell you how God blew our minds this week! But first, if you haven’t had the chance to read last week’s post that’s probably a good place to start, or this might not make very much sense. Now, a little ‘story time’ if you will. Gather around, friends… God is the coolest. )
Three separate times we have tried for another baby.
And three separate times God has said, no.
Inevitably every time I say that, someone comments, “God’s not saying, no, Krista, He’s just saying, not right now“…And inevitably, that person always seems to have a trillion beautiful babies. Go figure. And while I appreciate the kindness, I do… I gotta be honest, it reeeeeally feels like God is saying, no. (Just, no. With an exclamation mark. And a punch in the face.)
Yet each time God shuts down our attempts at having another child, He always succeeds in getting me to a place where I thank Him for not giving me what (I thought) I wanted.
For example, the first time we were trying for a baby we were living on the west coast, with no inkling of the whirlwind that was around the corner.
We’d been anxiously awaiting two red lines to display on a pregnancy test for going on 7 months at that point, when all of a sudden I felt God telling us to stop. I’m not going to lie, it was strange. Even stranger, when I mentioned it to my husband he agreed.
… Months later, God surprised us by uprooting our family (and with it, all normalcy) to move us from suburbia to New York City! I’ll never forget the day I literally got on my knees and thanked The Lord for not giving me the baby (I thought) I wanted. — I wouldn’t have survived NYC if He had!
The second time was a couple of years later, after I’d gained my footing in NYC (and after I had stopped having panic attacks from all the masses of people and fecal matter on any given subway.)
I was certain I was ready to have another kid…
…and then two weeks later, my marriage completely fell apart.
Again, Hallelujah, and thank you, Jesus, for not giving me what I thought I wanted.
The third and last time we started trying to have another child, was this last year. I could think of no better time to have a baby, and I told God that. Our marriage had been rebuilt, another picturesque house had been bought, all the debt had been paid off, and we were YEEEEARS from moving back to NYC to start a church (or so we thought.)
But again, like clockwork, I felt God telling me it wasn’t the right time …
I remember the exact place we were driving along the highway when I told my husband that I feared that would be the case (not realizing at the time, I was already 6 weeks pregnant…With a baby we would lose just weeks later…)
I was right, God was saying, no… (yet, again.)
But just like every time preceding it, God had a reason. And this time, it was a BIG ONE!
Continue reading Miracles & Moving Boxes (God did it!!!!!)
