30 days ago, I was on the other side of the world traveling with my family through five different countries for five weeks.
In France, we ate our body weight in meat and cheese. In Belgium, we did the same with beer and chocolate, and in England we ate the traditional Sunday roast dinner, complete with Yorkshire pudding.
But without a doubt, most enjoyable was: everywhere we went, and no matter who we were with and what we were eating, we were exchanging stories between bites, of all the amazing things we had seen God do in our lives.
There wasn’t a night we went to bed before 1 am, or where we laid our heads down to sleep without thinking to ourselves, Woah, God… you are amazing, after all the stories we heard and shared each night.
And God’s response… (well, to be honest, it surprised me)
He said, “…You haven’t seen anything yet.”
Continue reading You’re not asking enough from God
My heart has broken a handful of different ways in the last five years, each one rocking my world and transforming my heart in its own uniquely difficult way. But this year, my heart broke in a way unlike any other.
It all started when God asked me to have another child.
Continue reading I pray your heart breaks like THIS in 2017
This isn’t the first time God has asked me to do something a little crazy.
There was the time He asked me to give up my idyllic life in suburbia to move to NYC… Twice. There was the time my marriage imploded and God asked me to stay with husband, and another time, when God prompted me to give – literally every cent I had – to the church. Possibly even crazier, is that God had asked me to write through it all on this blog!
In the last three years, I have written through the darkest days of depression, and when divorce seemed inevitable. I’ve lost a baby on this blog, and have written about my tumultuous relationship with my father. I’ve even written extensively about porn! (joy.)
But now, God is asking me to do something that challenges me even further, and to my very core:
….To write a blog post every week for a year.
Continue reading I’m giving in to God… (An announcement to my readers)
We’re starting a church in New York City and we’d like to start an account for all the money we have received, we told the bank teller.
“Of course, how much would you like to transfer?” the woman behind the desk, inquired of our ‘growing’ church plant fund.
To which we replied, Three hundred and thirty dollars…
I let out a giggle. (I giggle when I’m nervous.) And I was nervous for good reason: three hundred dollars is barely enough to start a successful lemonade stand, let alone a sustainable church!
But as we exited the bank that day (and while the kind lady who helped us was likely telling her colleagues about the couple, bless their hearts, with the measly ‘car payment and a half’ allotted to start a church in one of the most expensive cities in the country…) we stopped at the doors and did something surprising: we took a selfie.
Yes, a selfie… To chronicle all the fear and expectancy we are feeling, yet don’t have the words to describe. To document this moment in time; where we are stepping out to do what God has asked us to do, all while lacking pretty much everything we need to do it.
Yet it is in this season of lacking – when we in no way have what we need – that I have never been more certain this is exactly where God wants me to be (and it could be where God wants you as well!)
After all, it’s where God wanted Gideon.
Continue reading Three hundred dollars, a giggle & a selfie
I didn’t ask God for much. I wanted to get my Master’s degree in teaching, get married to a man who wasn’t a pastor, and have three kids by the time I was thirty. I wanted to live in suburbia till death do us part, and in close proximity to a Walmart. (I love a good Walmart.)
Might sound simple to you, maybe even boring, but it’s the life my heart desired to live.
…But God is (so obviously) not listening.
Continue reading I wanted a boring life (but God’s not listening)
God has a tendency of uprooting my life. Just when I feel like I can take a breath, make a friend or two, or even try to do something exceptionally nutty and try to have a baby or something, God decides to throw my eggs in the creek.
Let me explain…
Continue reading The most meaningful lesson about God (And arguably, one of the most painful)
When my life fell to pieces everyone disappeared.
My 950 friends on Facebook, pointless. My blog, a mere platform for the curious. And the women I once regarded as ‘besties’ bolted, seemingly putting their priority elsewhere and not on helping me pick up the (broken) pieces of my life.
Looking back, I needed someone to see me; to bring me a meal, to show up at my door unannounced and drag me out of bed — and on an especially bad day, to a mental hospital!
Hear me when I say, I am in no way angry or bitter. (Far from it.) In fact, I am grateful; grateful to have survived that dark time, and even more grateful to have learned such valuable lessons, not in spite of the people who failed me, but because of them.
Continue reading Lessons Learned From The People Who Failed Me
When I found out I was pregnant, they were sure I was having a miscarriage.
…But we prayed. We desperately begged the Lord for a miracle, and clung to His promises believing, God’s way is perfect, and we can trust everything He does. (Psalm 18:30, Psalm 33:4)
I had written those two verses in the palm of my hand the day I went in for my second ultrasound. I must have been repeating them so loudly in my head, because the Ultrasound Technician nearly jolted me off the table when she took hold of my arm to point out the tiny little heartbeat, flickering away on the screen.
There was my baby, healthy as can be! (And that flickering heartbeat, is now my 5-year-old self-professed superhero, whirling around me as I type.)
It was a miracle.
This time though… this time, was different…
“Krista.” the nurse on the other line said pointedly upon me answering the phone. “Krista… You are pregnant…”
Continue reading Proclaiming God’s promises, anyway.
“My husband has been hiding an addiction to pornography,” she said, barely finishing her sentence before she began to cry into her hands in the dark corner of a coffee shop.
I listened as my friend wrestled with the shock and the lies, the betrayal and the shame, while memories flooded back to when my own marriage resulted in lies.
“What could I possibly say to comfort her broken heart?” I thought to myself as she cried.
“Tell her what I told you when your heart broke,” God instructed.
That’s exactly what I did, and it’s what I will do again today. I believe they are the same words God speaks over you and the current state of your heart.
Read the rest of my article HERE
To be entirely honest, I wasn’t going to write this week.
After traveling to England, Wales and the latest, Miami (…I know, random…) And after scrambling to finish an extreeeeemely vulnerable article for Newspring Church this week, I was certain I had ZERO energy or honesty left. But surprise, surprise… here I am.
But to clarify, this is more of a journal entry than a blog post. (Which is code for: I wrote this last night and didn’t edit it.)
Continue reading What happened to your courage?